Three Letter Word Called You

August 27, 2012
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but you were the one to break my heart.
You’re an idiot for breaking me.
I’m and idiot for loving you.
Thus we’re both idiots.
Except I was an idiot who loved you even after you broke my heart the first time.
You treated me kind of terrible, you know.
And I would have never done that to you…because I love you.
I guess I just thought you loved me too.
Guess not…
Why am I feeling this way?
I broke up with you…so why should I be crying and listening to Taylor Swift/Demi Lovato at the moment?
Maybe that’s because you were my first and only boyfriend, love, crush etc.
Tonight when I saw that changed relationship status from ‘single’ to ‘now in a relationship’ killed me
It felt like there was salt poured on my aching heart.
My throat started to burn, my heart sped up, my stomach tightened, and my lungs closed right up.
The tears started to rush to my eyes, and my head started to ache.
That was the worst part of all.
Finding out that you’ve moved on, when clearly I have not.
I can’t take it, from now on I’m gonna give my heart a break.
A break from love, boys, drama…the whole 9 yards.
With me being so busy I don’t need it.
I give up.
Just remember, you’re the reason I gave up on love.
I gave my everything to you just took it all for granted and crushed my heart.
No matter how much I say I’m mad at you, or how much I’m gonna want to forget about you…it won’t be possible.
Like I said you're my first everything.
Being together for 3 years does not help any of this either.
3 years of love should never be tossed away like this!
But anyways,
Down the road when we both have our own families to love and take care of,
You will still be here in my heart
No one who has affected me this much, will ever leave.
But now because of you, my heart is tied around with barbed wire and an electric fence.
Some one very god darn special has to unlock this heart.
And unfortunately, you’re the one to thank for that…
Just remember,
This heart of mine will never be the same because of a three letter word called YOU.

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