Sitting There

July 31, 2008
By kielle relles, Accokeek, MD

Confusion holding me in captivity.
And as i am sitting there, handcuffed to reality,
the real world compared to what has happened to me has come to bother me.
It seems that drastic pains begin to penetrate my body as im sitting there.

Sitting there cold and weak,
my body attempts to find a place of comfort.
Yet, i am still there.
Handcuffed to reality sitting on top of the wrongs i've done.
Shivering restless because the executioner, commissioner, and all parties involved have caught me red handed.
"But i haven't done what ANY man did,"
Immortal Ludicrousy said.

And as my blood was turning cold,
my heart began to pump faster and faster.
Still bound, not being able to move, an hour passed
and the cold air still lasting.
still passing by and through,
thoughts in my mind began to haunt me...
Still alone, sitting alone in misery as i contemplate the history made that day.

Noone to blame or look at but oneself.
And if they put a mirror directly in front of me,
i couldn't face it.
They couldn't trace it,
my feelings determinative of what has happened.
The pain i've caused over one simple action?

How could i?
Why did i?

It seems that in the moment,
we do not think.
Though if we were one outside looking in,
we'd see the insanity of the drastic measures one has taken.

Beginning to feel helpless,
still is my body.
cold is my soul.
Cold, alone, and yearning for a warm breeze...
a sunray of hope that a brighter day will be tomorrow.
Yet in my sorrow, i find myself still sitting there,
2 hours passed and no one to claim me.
What's one to do now but hold her mind into insanity plus pure misery?

I was in, not being able to look out

The author's comments:
It is when one is at deep regret and pain when they actually reflect. When i wrote this piece, i was in a type of pain that would not go away and that was guilt. While reading my poem, you can tell that the character finds herself alone or feeling lonely. And i feel that while we do have friends and God to look for help and support, after a while you realize that YOU need to be the one taking action and learning the lesson. Those who love you are there to simply guide you and in the moment when i was writing this, i felt that i had to confide in myself more than simply confiding in just my friends and faith.

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