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Colder than August

As of late, I’ve been struggling to stay afloat
I notice I’m the loneliest one awake, I note this
Particularly when I stay up late on weekday nights
Wondering when I’ll feel anything resembling right
Wandering familiar ground in this rotten memory of mine
And I ask myself who in their right mind would mind
If I kept these thoughts to myself as I continue my search
I’m practically expecting a reward I don’t think I deserve
A cure to this disease, this lonely human condition
Under the weight of my ambition, this tradition of sedition
And cynical wordplay is the worst way for me to say
Everything I’ve thought about everything, I’ve thought it out
I’ll save it for when you thaw out that frozen tundra heart
Iced over from cold shoulders you knew better than to turn to
And maybe it’s poetic, to become like those who’ve hurt you
Or maybe it’s pathetic, to survive the way I’ve learned to
Knowing part of who I am is nothing more than just pretend
And if you’re lucky, I’ll never speak your name again
For as long as I live your name will never cross my lips
Not the way it did back when my hand would cross your hips
When you realize what that cold organ of yours has cost
Around the same time I come to terms with what I’ve lost
I wonder if you’ll admit this, that you did this to yourself
Next time you take too many pills and leave the bottle on the shelf
When the winter brings the chills and you’re crying out for help
Shamelessly spilling all your guts, just remember how I felt
I gave you all my trust, my faith, I gave you what I had to give
Until it’s everything in me just to hope to see you live
As you try to save yourself from this fate that you’ve chosen
Remember I was the only one who saw, though frozen,
You were nothing, if not fragile, it’s no surprise to find you broken
If you don’t mind, I’d like my mind back, I was fine until you broke in




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