I dreamed.....

July 31, 2012
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I dreamed a broken rainbow
Crying fire, grime, and need
Hailed the flustered ocean
With a proud fountain of green
The sea with her haughty countenance
Took that green and wore it well
A mantle of sparkling emeralds
Above her dress of shimmering pearls

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so_joy said...
Nov. 29, 2012 at 2:31 pm
I like this! Great job! Please read, rate, and comment on my poems! It would mean a lot :) Thanks!
thatunknownthingThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 8, 2012 at 3:50 am
i've read all your poems and you write well, and i admire the words you use and your construction. however, i do not get the message you are trying you cnvey, both in this poem and tombstones. perhaps you should try writing with a better idea in mind, and briing out that message with the powerful writing skills you have, that would make a brilliantly explosive combination. keep going!
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