Candled Thought

July 29, 2008
By
As I walk down this bloody street,
In the middle of the night,
As my candle flickers,
Threatening to leave,
I finally understand that,
I shape my life they way I want it to be.
Dont be upset if I cut you off.
That's what I want,
Be happy for me,
And I will wish you the dreams you can never have,
I know you're not happy,
Maybe I will wish to help you understand how horrible misery is.
You don't have to,
You don't have to,
And although this is a rather lacrymose thought,
This is what I feel.
I don't want you to want to be my friend,
Confusing?
But that is how it must be.
The truth is,
You were a replacement for someone who was much better,
Much more kind,
Much more perfect,
And I hate you for tricking me.
I thought you were golden and that would always be my friend,
I thought I would,
I could,
Always,
Always,
Look up to you.
And you tricked me.
I thought you were different,
So unique,
Such an individual,
But you are no different than any other.
You are the rotten crab apple lying on the earth,
While your sour brothers and sisters are so lovingly eaten,
And spit out.
I hate you for tricking me.
You weren't in the cards.
Not even in the deck.
My fingers melliflously let you go into what you think you are.
I hate you for tricking me.
Pencil in another picture of how dreadfully lonesome you think you are.
You held my hand and broke my thumb,
I need my thumb,
I liked my thumb,
And as the blood drips through my fingers,
As I cry and scream in pain,
As I want to hold my mother,
As I retch all over my shoes.
I remember that,
I hate you for tricking me.


Your flame is close to going out.
I have a pocket full of matches.
But I need them.
No,
I cannot spare even one out of one hundred.
Why?
I wish you hadn't tricked me.





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