I don't know if you know or if you'll ever know but I loved you the most. I loved you more than her. I can love you better. I can love you more. I fight for you in the ways I can. I cry when I hear your voice. I don't know what I would do if I ever got to see you again. I hoped that one day you could have been mine. But you have your mind set on another girl. A girl that will never be me and I could NEVER be her. I miss you more than anything in the world. I tried to tell myself for so long I was to young to love, and if I ever loved it could never have been you. But no matter how much I denied it and how hard I tried to fight it, I knew that if I lied it still wouldn't have changed what happened over time. I fell in love with you. I fell hard. I don't know if I fell fast, but I know I fell hard. It hurts just to write all this down. I wish that one day you could read it and not hate me forever. I think one day if you ever decide to talk to me again, I will tell you how much I love you. I have to. Because I might not get another chance, but I don't know if I'll ever see you again. So I'll have to sit and wait. I'll wait for the courage and for the day to come when I feel like my waiting is finally done, so I can tell you that I really love you and maybe one day I can look back on one memory of us and be able to say "Damn I'm glad I finally got that done."
What I'll Never Be Able to Say
July 9, 2012