First Love | Teen Ink

First Love

July 29, 2008
By Amy Terracciano GOLD, Madison, New Jersey
Amy Terracciano GOLD, Madison, New Jersey
16 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I looked into your blue eyes
And I was caught between reality and fantasy.
You made me weak, vulnerable,
To the dangers that you brought along side of you,
But I still could not erase you from my mind.
You were my addiction, the one thing I could not break.

I went out of my way for you.
I worked hard, I strived for better.
You responded genuinely, but
I wanted more, I wanted all of you.
You went out of the way for me
You slipped me answers, you made yourself visible.
I responded genuinely, but cautiously,
Afraid that you were just playing, just being friends.

My life with you, right there, was crazy.
You would lead me on,
Brought me along the freeway
But all too soon you often dumped me off at a dead end.
I would look into your blue eyes,
But nothing would reflect, nothing would scream the answer.
I would lead you on,
But I would lead you on in a way that could not be understood.
A way that only a fantasy world could fathom.

As the days passed,
As the weeks passed,
We were oblivious to it all
People would whisper
People would conjure these crazy ideas, these theories.
You and I would sit together -- laughing, joking
Blocking out the reality that was pounding on our doors.

The day came that would change everything
The day that I wished came a long time ago.
But you changed
I waited, waited for you to come around,
But you never did.
My heart fell apart -- like glass hitting pavement
It shattered into a million pieces,
But I never admitted it, never showed my hurt.
I brushed it off -- brushed it off like a fly
But on the inside I was crying, I was crying for you.

I don’t know what you wanted
And I did not dare to explore it
I blamed you for my pain
But now I blame myself
I wish we could start over
I wish I could have seen what everyone else did.


The author's comments:
This piece is a poem about a boy that I met in school and I had a major crush on him. However, I never made a move, even though everyone said that we should date. It is one move that I regret I did not do.

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