Harshness and Pain

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She gives our family a look of pity, grimacing at us.
Empty, sorrowful hearts fill one building,
something new to our family, this void.
The white hallways, with the nurses and doctors also in white
Remind me of heaven,
this is my hell.
I look around; her face is peaking from the corner.
with sadness, she watches us all take it in.

She sees the pain hit us, one by one.
We realize there’s no more him.
My feet are stuck glued to the cold ground,
frozen are my veins, cells, my muscles.
I compress my feelings inside, but my brother cannot.
His shoulders tremble and his face is distorted.
Little sister becomes big sister.
I cradle him like a baby.
Tenderly I hold him so he stops hyperventilating.

I open my eyes
to her staring at me.
Why is she suffocating us?
Her violent, voracious stares are planting a seed of anxiety into my heart.
My palms are sweaty.
I close my eyes once more.
Whisked away into a dream, foggy hope trickles in.
I loved him. We loved him.
I open them again.
The lights so dim.
She mouths to me, “I’m sorry.”

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