how to get over you?
let's explore the mature approach.
hmmm; i've never done that, but
let me try to come up
with some clever
plot of how
i shall
live.

first off.
don't think about IT.
think POSITIVE.
don't hate ANYONE, not even
-ugh-
her.

"You either lose a friend...
or BE a friend."

i guess i'll have to be a friend.
no, not just a friend.
i'll have to be
The Friend
yet again
for him.

NO!
NO, NO, NO, NO MORE!!

i'm going to live life for ME.
meaning, no more thinking about him.
no more living for him.
no more crying for him.
no more attempting PERFECTION for him.

darling, no.
i'm going to do this for me!
OH,
YES!!

HOW AMAZING IT IS TO HAVE A SENSE OF
SUDDEN
EMPOWERMENT !!!

from now on...

i dress up for me.
i look pretty for me.
no, pretty doesn't cut it.
i break necks and i stun,
so stuff that in your juicebox and
suck on it, okay?
smile.

i breathe for me.
and they're healthy, even breaths.
and if breaths could be happy,
then my breaths would be happy.
the steady pounding within me is all for me,
and it's telling me that i am, indeed,
a beautiful, strong, independent girl.
grin.

i sing for me.
no one needs to listen.
i am my audience, and i love what i'm hearing.
"Those who mind don't matter,
and those who matter don't mind."
i do not lie.
darkness does not from my mouth protrude.
giggle.

and lastly, i dance for myself.
no, these hips do not move for you.
no, i'm not running away from you.
i hold my head high and face life.
i cannot swerve obstacles forever
yet, i have the confidence to
plunge into life, face first
because i am strong. i won't get hurt anymore!
i can do this!
watch me dancing in the rain, in the sun,
under your stare.
doesn't matter where.
because i'm okay.
and i'll be okay.
laugh!

uproariously,
i laugh.
with or without you, it really doesn't matter.
and i can say it over and over again:
i don't need you.
i don't need you!
oh, how AMAZING it feels to say this out loud --
I
DO NOT
NEED
YOU!!!

i won't lie -
with you i felt good.
but after i lost you, i came to the
-shocking, yet-
refreshing realization that
I DON'T NEED YOU
and so then i was better.
and now,
as i begin this Journey Through Life
and, sure, throw in
Journey Of Self Discovery,
without you
(how good it sounds!)
but with those who really matter -
God, family, friends-
and as i'm walking,
no,
DANCING and waltzing and breezing through life, my voice
SINGING to me, making everything clearer,
BREATHING without a care, no sobs here, no sir, and
PRIMPING without needing anyone's approval but my own,
oh, yes sir, that's when i'll be
BEST.

because i'll be doing everything for me.
and with me.
forgetting you.
and those who don't matter.
i love life.
i loveD you.
but you chose not to.
and i'm not going to force feelings.

hope you're happy.
you
-don't-
deserve it.

i'm
-learning to be-
happy.

so here's to our lives;
CHEERS.