I once knew when caterpillars danced on my hands

I let them, instead of crushing their ideals like my sister

I bended the waters of every, lake to secure my families need for moisture

I cried to dare God to ever turn his head near me

I tattooed my heart to show I loved everything

When I shed my skin, there was no muscle but bone

The decapitated heads of my undecided conscience still didn’t comfort me

I saw no stepping stone, you took all them for yourself

But it won’t matter; only the real ones will be farther

Fresh yellow rotting flesh is the only smell in my dreams

Painful cat’s claws are there too, like darkness when you close your eyes

The grass you walk on only wants to be thanked for being there

Like the subtle butterflies ache for belonging, in this catch and be caught world

I believed in drowning my cookies, in not milk but visions of the aftertaste

Doubting to believe, I danced with you, but you stepped on my oval toes, changing toes

I put believe in your mailbox, did you get it