September 22, 2007
I hold the door open,
But no one is there,
No one to say “thank you”;
No one cares.
Everything goes wrong,
And what did I do?
Nothing at all!
Everything is twisted,
Everyone is mean,
And I know it is all in my head.
This is not normal;
Where is my joy?
I seem to have left it behind me somewhere.

Hear what I have to say.
Let me express this my way.
Stay strong as I press hard.
Ink pen,
Don’t run out on me today,
Not again,
Not another,
Giving up on me,
Running out—
Not again!
Don’t go ’way;
I can’t fall!

I can’t fall;
What would occur if I did?
Would a friend come to catch me?
Would I have someone there,
Will I,
Do I,
Have those who understand,
When I am like this,
When I can’t comprehend?
When I’m rude,
And want to fix it,
Do they care?
Do they see?
Is it true there are those,
Who care about me?
Do they really exist,
Or are they just a lie?
Are they just another thing,
This world wants me to buy?

No, it’s not true!
I can’t take it!
It’s false!
I will not accept it;
It’s bogus,
There have to be people,
Looking out for me,
Somewhere or some way,
Who are thrilled to see me.
I know they’re out there,
And I know they’re right here,
But why can’t I find them,
Tomorrow I’ll be back,
But today I want to hurl,
And these are the expressions,
Of a baffled, worn girl.

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