My Lord take me to he'll and back rather than give me a cat,
Make me parade myself in front of class with a silly hat,
Or turn me into a school door mat,
Or even force me to eat a giant bale of dirty hay,
Give me the wildest and dirtiest hog,
One that can chew through the sturdiest log,
Strip me of my favorite TV with its screen the size of my car,
Or force me to walk through a giant pool of molting tar,
Take away my beloved car and give me nothing more than an old ford,
Even force me to read scarlet letter till I grow bored,
Lastly imprison me in fort Knox,

Or make me a bed of jagged rocks,
All these things and ever so much more,
Rather than bring home a scary cat that I must adore.