Once there was a man
Who hadn't a plan
And his entire life
Was held in a tin can.
Day in, day out he sat
Bothersome as a gnat
Asking passersby to buy him beer
And afterwards he would cheer
"I can make a living without having to work!
I don't care if I look like a lazy jerk."
The Slacker never feared
He just picked and scratched at his beard
Thinking up another scheme
That would help him achieve his dream
To sit in front of the store
For forever more
Drinking his weight in Steel Reserve
Grinning like a perv.
He always says how he wants my shoes,
But I'm simply certain that he'd trade them for booze.