April 6, 2012
By , edwards, MS
i wud love to take the time to tell you
what a father is ....
someone thats strong and loves whats his
someone that takes pride in not one but All his kids
someone that cherish and and believes that his kids
will be nothing but the best
someone how holds them close beyond his beating chest
never the less
someone you can call a Friend
....this isnt what you are

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hippiechick99 said...
Apr. 10, 2012 at 7:48 am
In my opinion this poem couldv'e been a lot longer and I would have changed some of the wording. (example: insted of "cherish and believes that his kids...." I would replace kids with children, because you just said kids in the previous line.) Also there are some grammar problems, but I liked the idea of it.
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