Standing at Your Cross

You live for everything,

Every day you live life to the fullest,

And when you dream,

you dream as if you will live forever

Then why can I see you falling?

Falling from the top of the tallest mountain

But now you’re not the parachute anymore,

The person saving mine and others lives day by day,

And now when you need to be there for yourself you’re not!

And I try, and I try to be the life guard to your sinking ship,

But I can’t, you’re in too deep, too far,

Aandcan’t do the same as you did for me.

Guilt is beyond what I feel, and why?

Not just for me not being able to be the water to your fire,

But because now I feel it’s my fault that you are in the fire in the first place,

Because maybe I created it, as I thought selfishly not thinking of the consequences.

This time I need to be the help to your call,

But I and the world are not as strong as you are.

You were so strong, you still are so strong,

Aandsee that you are just accepting it,

Not giving in but accepting.

WHY? I ask myself

I’m scared ! I’m scared for you!

I promise that I will try,

But you have to promise that you will try to.

And now as I see you accepting that you’re falling from that building, and not worrying

That there’s nothing that you can do to stop it,

I try and be strong like you and be your soft trampoline protecting you,

But I fall and I can’t get back up, and I try and I try,

I look up trying to see how long you will be before you hit the ground,

And I am hoping that maybe just maybe you’ll be able to stop falling, or maybe

I’ll be able to get up quick enough.

Aandtry to brace the tears as you fall down from the mountain, from you being so high

Getting so far,

But now you’re falling from the top of the top,

And soon you’ll be at the bottom, the start, but it would be too late to start again.

And then just there, the whole world pauses, people stop and you stop falling,

That’s when I get a little piece of hope in my heart,

I like that pause,

And until everything is back in place and the world is un-paused from that moment I can keep that hope,

And just there I understand that you forgive me, and I feel a little bit better and relieved inside.

I give a nod and say thank you, aandwait till the world is un-paused, back in its place with my heart wide open, and then finally just then ..

My eyes are truly open.