A Race Through Space | Teen Ink

A Race Through Space

March 22, 2012
By bearsfan654 SILVER, Elmhurst, Illinois
bearsfan654 SILVER, Elmhurst, Illinois
7 articles 8 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Feb 20, 1962, The USA launches John Glenn into Earth orbit. Something America could do fifty years ago.... but not today." - Neil deGrasse Tyson


young boy looks up in the sky
young boy heaves a sigh
no stars tonight
the city blocks the light
of parents above
the celestial doves

the beauty of the skies cannot bleed
its white beads
into the sky
and up high
galaxies the size of crumbs dance
and prance
across the infinite black sea
little stars tinier than a pea
it's space
a wonderful place

mercury, venus, earth and mars
jupiter, saturn, uranus, neptune and stars
the teaching stops there
that's an ugly affair
there's more to see
which causes glee

a black hole ravenously feasts on a star
a supergiant explodes as if bizarre
bubbles of gamma-rays gigantic and cute
rainbow-colored magnificient nebulae growing fruit
to become the stars
to create planets like ours

imagine a world with pink oceans and red lands
how about another home to only green sands
or maybe a frigid small world full of ice
perhaps there's a hot gas giant that isn't nice
as it closely orbits its parent
the errant
occurs as the child evaporates under the power
of the mother glower

space is a wonder
its not a blunder
its meant to be
the wonders to see
and while you may not see the sky
up high
remember the final frontier
and give a celestial cheer


The author's comments:
I wrote this piece because I felt I wanted to explain the wonders of our universe in a magical poem. In school, the solar system is only taught. By writing this poem, I felt I could show space outside of the solar system itself.

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This article has 37 comments.


on May. 26 2012 at 5:51 pm
bearsfan654 SILVER, Elmhurst, Illinois
7 articles 8 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Feb 20, 1962, The USA launches John Glenn into Earth orbit. Something America could do fifty years ago.... but not today." - Neil deGrasse Tyson

Thanks Inksy!

Inksy SILVER said...
on May. 26 2012 at 4:49 pm
Inksy SILVER, NSL, Utah
7 articles 0 photos 89 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead"
~Benjamin Frankiln
"Love? Above all things I believe in love. Love is like oxygen. Love is a many splendored thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love."
~Moulin Rouge

This is breautiful! It's really creative and I love the rhyme scheme you used. Your imagery is amazing, you really perfected the "show-not-tell" concept. Well done (:

on May. 26 2012 at 6:49 am
bearsfan654 SILVER, Elmhurst, Illinois
7 articles 8 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Feb 20, 1962, The USA launches John Glenn into Earth orbit. Something America could do fifty years ago.... but not today." - Neil deGrasse Tyson

Thanks Behind_a_Plastic_Smile!

on May. 25 2012 at 11:06 pm
Behind_a_Plastic_Smile GOLD, Roseville, California
17 articles 1 photo 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
"if you're not 1st you're last"

wow this is magical! the imagey and rhym scheme go hand in hand like a magestic dance.   

on May. 25 2012 at 10:27 pm
bearsfan654 SILVER, Elmhurst, Illinois
7 articles 8 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Feb 20, 1962, The USA launches John Glenn into Earth orbit. Something America could do fifty years ago.... but not today." - Neil deGrasse Tyson

Thanks wordjunkie! Out where I live there aren't any stars, but I've been in the desert in India before. The sight of all the stars was amazing!

on May. 25 2012 at 10:25 pm
wordjunkie BRONZE, Houston, Texas
1 article 0 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Those who say it can't be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.

I love the rhym scheme, in an english curriculumn so confined to rigidity, I love it when people are more creative with their line breaks.  And I love how it's not really reverent, more of gleeful. It's less somberly respectful than most prose on space, and that's really refreshing. Go to the desert with a telescope sometime, by the way. I recomend moab utah. It's breathlessly beautiful.

on Apr. 24 2012 at 8:17 pm
bearsfan654 SILVER, Elmhurst, Illinois
7 articles 8 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Feb 20, 1962, The USA launches John Glenn into Earth orbit. Something America could do fifty years ago.... but not today." - Neil deGrasse Tyson

Thanks eternal_sunshine!

on Apr. 20 2012 at 9:31 pm
eternal_sunshine SILVER, Minnetonka, Minnesota
8 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone.
For the sad old earth must borrow it's mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.

Wow, this is beautiful! So complex! I love how you start off specific and simple, with just the one boy. Then you move out further and further, it really gave me the sense of the massiveness of everything. Really great job! :)

on Apr. 19 2012 at 9:05 pm
bearsfan654 SILVER, Elmhurst, Illinois
7 articles 8 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Feb 20, 1962, The USA launches John Glenn into Earth orbit. Something America could do fifty years ago.... but not today." - Neil deGrasse Tyson

Thanks DanielM!

on Apr. 19 2012 at 9:04 pm
bearsfan654 SILVER, Elmhurst, Illinois
7 articles 8 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Feb 20, 1962, The USA launches John Glenn into Earth orbit. Something America could do fifty years ago.... but not today." - Neil deGrasse Tyson

Thanks DanielM!

on Apr. 19 2012 at 9:04 pm
bearsfan654 SILVER, Elmhurst, Illinois
7 articles 8 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Feb 20, 1962, The USA launches John Glenn into Earth orbit. Something America could do fifty years ago.... but not today." - Neil deGrasse Tyson

You have a great point SpringRayyn! If I ever make a sequel I'll add your suggestion into the poem

DanielM. said...
on Apr. 19 2012 at 9:00 pm
Good Job. Nice use of Imagery.

DanielM. said...
on Apr. 19 2012 at 8:59 pm
Great Job. I liked how you used imagery to give us readers a picture in our head. Great Job!

on Apr. 19 2012 at 6:52 pm
SpringRayyn PLATINUM, Lakeville, Minnesota
34 articles 2 photos 658 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't punish yourself," she heard her say again, but there would be punishment and pain, and there would be happiness too. That was writing."
--Markus Zusak, "The Book Thief"

I love this one! I love how you used the young boy at the beginning and the universe totally contrasting him by being so large! It could be made better by relating back to the young boy in the end. Very good description though!

on Apr. 19 2012 at 5:00 pm
bearsfan654 SILVER, Elmhurst, Illinois
7 articles 8 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Feb 20, 1962, The USA launches John Glenn into Earth orbit. Something America could do fifty years ago.... but not today." - Neil deGrasse Tyson

Thanks so much maizyiscrazy!

on Apr. 19 2012 at 4:53 pm
maizyiscrazy GOLD, Washington, District Of Columbia
10 articles 53 photos 262 comments

Favorite Quote:
I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe in miracles. ~Audrey Hepburn

This is so great! I can tell that you love space, and you can totally see it in this poem!

on Apr. 19 2012 at 3:12 pm
bearsfan654 SILVER, Elmhurst, Illinois
7 articles 8 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Feb 20, 1962, The USA launches John Glenn into Earth orbit. Something America could do fifty years ago.... but not today." - Neil deGrasse Tyson

Okay, thanks for the feedback!

deleted said...
on Apr. 19 2012 at 3:10 pm
deleted, Miami, Florida
0 articles 0 photos 195 comments
Nice imagery, idea, and wording. However, it doesn't really flow. That's the only thing I'd work on :)

on Apr. 19 2012 at 10:25 am
bearsfan654 SILVER, Elmhurst, Illinois
7 articles 8 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Feb 20, 1962, The USA launches John Glenn into Earth orbit. Something America could do fifty years ago.... but not today." - Neil deGrasse Tyson

You haven't posted any to the site yet

teamo14 BRONZE said...
on Apr. 19 2012 at 10:23 am
teamo14 BRONZE, Paris, Other
1 article 0 photos 49 comments
I need your feedback, please, check out my poems.


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