When you reminisce, you remember happy times. I remember the blood as it trickled down my body making a pool around me and as I clenched my fist ready to fight again. I live behind the gates of hell. I am a solider. I have seen the blood come from my brother. I have more scars than a dog in fighting pit. My blood runs cold when I'm around normal people because I always expect a fight. What you call painful, I call home. What you call paranoia I cling to for dear life. You call me crazy but I survived through the beatings, the cuts, the burns, the bruises, the pain. I am allowed... No, no I have the right to be crazy. But the craziest thing is I made a deal, not with the devil but with god. He told me he'd give me a happier life if I stopped trying to get into heaven. I was not meant to go because I am a demon born of hell. More crazy still is while pounding on those pearly gates an angel found me. She fell in love and held tight to me as I plummeted back down. I only wish she was still upon her clouds singing her sweet lullaby. But I stayed where I was as she sang to me. And I was made to watch as she burned alive for angels were not meant for hell.
March 16, 2012