Growing Up

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I can walk away.
I can step out the door
and never look back.
I can reinvent myself.
I can shed who I was
and become who I am.

I fear the revolving door.
I fear to be caught with my back
against the wall with only myself
to recall and answer, “what was
my problem?”, and “am
I capable of letting its memory slip away?”

There is no going back.
Alone, it is simply me, myself
and I left to suppress the child I once was
and become the “grownup” I now am.
I used to fantasize about running away.
Now, I face opening that door.

Can I trust myself?
Is it due today or was
it due yesterday? Damn…I am
on my own, too far away
from my front door.
But there is no turning back.

Everything that once was
familiar is gone and I am
left trying to find a way
to close the door
to my old life back
home, and finally find myself.

I can choose who I am.
I can make this new place a home away
from home. As each new day turns, so opens a new door.
The winds of destiny push at my back
as I slowly, ploddingly grow into myself
and shed the memories of what I was.





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