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Intertwined

By , Windermere, FL
I need to feel a heartbeat I need to know that someone is really there that someone really cares about me I need to know you love me and that I make u complete and for you to be willing to compete for me at any givin cost I'd love to feel some safety in the midst of ur arms wen I'm crying for no reason for you to sit and listen hard and when the other girls start acting up and having to much fun you'll tell them all to go cause I'm the only one I'm special confidential I'm you're other missing half you're my best friend my possession an the one to make me laugh we love each other so you can even read my mind were ment to be together forever intertwined





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This article has 9 comments. Post your own now!

3mo_sw33ts said...
Mar. 11, 2012 at 11:22 pm
Its called stanzas, periods, commas, and spelling school:)
 
Missy1999 replied...
Mar. 11, 2012 at 11:40 pm
I'm sorry I know:P I don't know what was on my mind when I was typing...probably something of some importance. I'll definitely work on double checking my work thought, thanks for the helpful critique!:)
 
3mo_sw33ts replied...
Mar. 12, 2012 at 4:38 pm
Oh its completly ok! I didnt mean to be mean!
 
Missy1999 replied...
Mar. 16, 2012 at 1:05 pm
It's cool I know u didn't I should have include punctuation in it tho. Have u seen any of my other work? Did u like it?
 
3mo_sw33ts replied...
Mar. 16, 2012 at 7:06 pm
No I havent...but I will check it out!! :D
 
Missy1999 replied...
Mar. 17, 2012 at 10:59 am
Oh that's would be so great:) thanks!
 
3mo_sw33ts replied...
Mar. 17, 2012 at 2:35 pm
No prob:D Im sure they will be amazing!
 
Missy1999 replied...
Mar. 18, 2012 at 11:50 am
:) thank you. Thats very nice of you to say. You're work is beautiful also:)
 
lookingformargo said...
Mar. 11, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Spelling issues:

**you

**given

**your

**when

**too

**your

**and

**we're

**meant

 

Grammar issues:

No period at the end. Or any punctuation. Or line breaks. It's basically a really long run-on sentence.

 

Other:

"other missing half" Unless he's missing both halves, I'm fairly sure this makes no sense.

 
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