My Pain | Teen Ink

My Pain

March 6, 2012
By smartrunner22 GOLD, Chelmsford, Massachusetts
smartrunner22 GOLD, Chelmsford, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
In great attempts, it is glorious even to fail.


They say, without no pain
There isn’t ever any gain.
You have it for too long,
It get into your brain,
Now you barely hanging on,
This b****, make you insane.
You try ta soldier on
The drugs don’t help at all.
And now you can not walk no more, I fear you gotta crawl.
Now you just curled up, down on that Cold. Hard. Floor.
Prayin to a god
You don’t belive before.
But how he supposed to help ya?
You locked your god damn door.
You’ve closed your mind
You’ll never find,
The reason for this pain.
It binds you forever, this unbreakable chain…
You take the midnight train,
You try and run away.
You don’t know where you're goin but to you it’s all the same.
. . .
You bigger than them, everybody know this.
But even lookin down, you feel the lowest.
And somehow,
Your winters seem to be the coldest.

Goin gray at 23,
You younger, but you look the oldest.
Stop.
Just imagine that was me.
Now, hush little child, listen to my sto-ry…
You can’t live with it,
Can’t live without it.
I don’t know what to do, and now I just wanna quit.
Sh*t.
I think I overdosed.
Wake up in the hospital,
I’m cuttin it too close.
My moma’s gunna kill me
But not if I do it first.
Man, you think this is bad
You ain’t seen the worst.
. . .
If you could feel
How I’ve felt, my entire life.
You might just run away, and go n find a knife.
Contemplatin when you goin to take your life.
You ask me how I deal with it.
Well I don’t.
Don’t you see?
I won’t lie
Life is hard
At the best of times.
But how hard is it
When the best don’t even get you by?
Now I ask for help
But man, I was too far gone.
I guess this was god’s plan for me, all along.
Loved ones leave me for dead.
Now I’m all alone.
I go to my preacher with a question.
He just ask me “What the hell is yo confession?”
Not even men of god can trust me.
How am I supposed to believe, that even god loves me?

No one that love ya, would ever hurt ya this way.
And none of my other loved ones would even meet me halfway.
Now I’m wanderin the streets
A stray.
Abandoned and betrayed.
Now my story don’t end here.
It just gets worse I fear.
I think I finally hit my final year
I’ve dropped below that bottom tier…
Now, don’t feel sorry for me, that just makes it worse.
Just try and help me lift this curse.
In a week or two, you’ll find me in a hearse.
. . .
I left the rat race
Now I’m headed to a better place
But that’s no thanks to “god’s grace”.
I’m finally at peace
Not in pieces.
This the highest I ever been
No placebos.
Well, it’s getting late…
Time to say goodnight.
Now hush little baby.
Sweet dreams.
Have a pleasant night.


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