The Voice Within

April 7, 2008
By Hye Eun Chee, Easley, SC

Dark, Depressing gloom
Room filled with memories
Cold and threatening
I stumble through
Slamming the door
The pain is intense
In my heart, in my mind
In this room

Another bad day
An ordinary day
Fighting, Arguing, Hitting,
That's the way it always is
It never stops
Why won't it stop?

This never-ending cycle
All I ask for, God, is
just one abnormal day
But who am I kidding?
You're not there
No one's there
Everybody is fake,
Stuck in their own little world
Of false pretenses
It's disgusting

Tears flow down my cheeks
Making a puddle of salty water
Why am I crying?
I should be used to this,
This never-ending cycle of hell
I know only one solution

Cold and metallic
The sharp tip gleams in the light above
I wished I had some light,
Some hope,
Now I do
It's tempting me, urging me to do the
Right thing
You're worthless, useless
Everyone hates you
Touching the blade to my wrist
I press

A trickle of blood brings
Sweet relief
I press harder
Trickle turns into stream
I cry out in pain but inside
My heart is peaceful

It's been two months
Still a never-ending cycle of hell
But now I have a secret
The key to happiness
I take out again
My medicine,
My relief,
And press it to my wrist
It creates another line of blood
next to all
The scars from my other doses
This time it's harder
I'm more reluctant
You're worthless, useless
I tell myself again
But this time I hear a voice
A voice so small, almost nonexistant
But it's there
You're bigger than this
You deserve better
It says

Maybe it's right
Maybe I should listen to this voice within
The blade gleams from the light above.
A trace of a smile appears on my pale face
I pull the blade away
Wrap it up and throw it in the trash
My medicine
But I finally realize it's a
Tearing my life apart slowly
Piece by piece

Maybe I can stop this never-ending cycle
I cry tears of relief
Cradle my head in my arms
Searching inside myself for
The voice within

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