Edge of the Ledge

January 21, 2012
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I’m standing very steadily.
Below me is the ledge of a building.
Cars are racing by underneath me.
They speed and the noises echo up to me.

I hear the sounds churning in the air.
A honk of a horn,
The wisp of the wind,
and the sound of birds chirping.

My feelings are entangled inside me.
I feel fear, emanating from my heart.
A jolt of excitement gives me a rush.
I’m nervous.

My feet are planted firmly
on the building top.
My heart beat is rising upward,
and falling back down again.

I see you in the distance.
You’re walking up to me,
your eyes locked in with mine.
You’re not smiling.

At this point I’m in a loss for words.
I’m debating what I should do.
And I see your arms lean forward.
Your footsteps are getting louder.

Until you stop in front of me.
So close I could lean in and kiss you.
But I don’t feel up to it right now.
I’m sure you don’t either.

So I close my eyes.
I breathe in the warm air,
And ready my hands to balance
if I fall down.

My eyes are still closed.
But I feel your hands wrap around mine.
They’re gentle but still
have a tight grip on me.


I wish I could lean back and fall.
Free-fall down the side of the building,
and impact the ground.
It could be over as soon as I step back.

But your hands are still wrapped around mine.
And if I jumped,
You would fall with me.
I can’t do that to you.

So I step open my eyes.
I see yours are still gazing at me.
And I place one foot off the ledge.
Followed by the other.

I’m safe from harm.
But do I want to be?
All I see is the ledge,
I think some more.

You’re still holding my hand.
I’ll be back to the ledge again.
And next time,
I’ll jump.





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