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Lost Angel

Darkness fills my empty walls. i am still here but my angel is lost...
He's been with me ages,can't help but see it was fault of my own.
What do you do when your angel is gone and you're all alone in the darkness?
What do you do when all you want is him but he doesn't realize it?
He doesn't hear your call for help...your call for forgiveness.
"You have sinned my child and he is very disappointed"
A voice calls me...god why i can't i avoid it
It was the one gift i had left. My angel gave me the gift before he left.
He told me..."to keep it safe and only use it in special occasions"
I've almost used it up since i got lost in translation...
The voice asks me "why?... Why hurt a heart that was put in your hands to keep safe?"
I answer... "it was my job but it would have driven me insane"
I've kept it safe for as long as i can.
I did not hurt the heart....he took it back
Like other times, i could not heal what was already cracked.
His heart hardened and healed...mine broke and has never sealed.
I've gone days without him but it feels like seasons...
It almost feels like i committed treason...
I do not know why my angel feels lost in the world.
He has his reasons and i can't please appease them.
the voice tells me: "he left because he loves you"
but...You don't let go what you love.
you hold to it and never let it go or leave it hurt
like a dying bird,because it can't be free
free of pain and melancholy...
free to rise without having to fall from grace
free to love without having to embrace something other than what she loves....
the voice tells me "he did it for himself"
i answer "i know but i can never let it go..."
because when the cold stoned heart of an angel dies...it's former guardian dies with them...a mistake in the design....
Even though he left i can still feel his presence...
and my heart like the moon with many crescents...
It's waiting to be full again with his return...
Stranger if you see him...tell him that i miss him...
tell him that i love him....and that i'm sorry for what am about to do....
tell him he wins and i lose...

Stranger:
we are gathered here today to celebrate the life of one of god's children, daughter to a father and mother, sister to two sisters and brother....we hope that she may rest in peace...and she rests under god's wing....





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