February 5, 2012
I wake up screaming.
I spend my every moment begging
a God I don't believe in to make the pain-
I could jump.
I could open my eyes under water,
and spend forever floating.
I'm not one for blood,
but fire-
my beautiful weapon.

She wants me to admit my problems.
I need her to just disappear.
I'll never admit what happened-
what happens behind shut doors.

He thinks he's the reason for my scars.
He'd never admit it, but he's proud.
So damn proud.
He's proof,
I'm not the most ****ed up one around.

I'll admit
I'd be up there with the birds,
if someone would just cut my chains.
Everyone in this world
drags me closer to hell.
I'd rather be there though,
than this so called "reality".

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