I’m Trapped

May 6, 2008
I’m in a cupboard
A dark cupboard
It’s too small for me
It’s so small I can’t move

The cupboard lurches
It’s beginning to fall
I can feel it all around me
But I can’t move
My stomach drops

The cupboard I’m in
Hits the floor
With a bone-jolting crash

I think I can hear voices
So many voices
Help me

So many voices
Beyond these walls
Voices shouting and broken
Words that don’t match
Or even make sense

I push hard
At the sides of the cupboard
All around me
I lean on them
With all my weight
But nothing moves

Somewhere beyond me
Beyond these walls
Someone is crying

I can hear his voice
Saying my name
Over and over again
Like he can’t find me

Im a little girl, sniffing flowers
Im hiding, Can’t find me
Im sleeping, don’t wake me
So many Sarahs
“Sarah Ann Nelson
Where are you?”

Please open
Why won’t this stupid cupboard open?
I push and push
Against the sides
But nothing moves

Dad I answer
But he doesn’t hear me
“Oh Sarah” he whispers
My heart stops beating
At the sound of something sad
In his voice
He turned my name
Into a long
Unending cry
I can see it

I can see it
Behind my eyes
My own name
Stretching out into letters
Wide across the empty sky

He calls my name
So that it streaks
Across the sea
Through the night
A shooting star
A lengthening shadow
That goes on and on
Until it’s stretched
As thin and fine
As a fishing line
About to break

I try to shout
But no sound comes out
Somewhere outside
Beyond these walls
Footsteps leading away from me
A door closes
My name is silent
Its light’s gone out
He’s gone
And so am I

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