Not In A Good Way

January 18, 2012
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You take my breath away.
Not in a good way.
You literally suck the life
out of me and I can't breathe.
When I'm with you I'm at
a loss for words.
Not in a good way.
You make me feel so bad
about myself that I'm
too stunned to speak.
You give me butterflies.
Not in a good way.
I just get so nervous
worrying about saying
something wrong.
You make my body tremble.
Not in a good way.
I shake in fear of
your cruelty...
I can't be without you.
Not in a good way.
I hate our relationship,
but I'm scared of leaving you.
I love you but
I can't stand you.
When I'm with you,
I can't think straight.
Not in a good way.
Our relationship confuses me
and I don't know how to cope.
So I'll take the lashes
and the insults if it's
what I must do.
But one thing I
will never do,
is walk away.

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This article has 11 comments. Post your own now!

XCBVIA said...
Sept. 13, 2013 at 8:45 pm
This is awesome. I think it really describes a abusive relationship and how people never want to walk away. I love the "not in  a good way" part and i totally agree with your other commenters on your use of "you take my breath away" that was awesome there! KEEP WRITING! You have a 5/5 from me
Osvaldo_C said...
Feb. 5, 2012 at 8:00 pm
Wow, this was very interesting. The phrase "you take my breath away" is usually for love and it's used in a different and creative way. Good job, this was great. I'm always a fan of good poetry.
chloe_garrett replied...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 8:44 am
Thank you. sooo much. tht makes me smile.
josika said...
Feb. 3, 2012 at 11:00 am
hey ! i like the way the poem flows and the thought you have put in it. keep writing and pls check out my work too! 5/5 from me!
chloe_garrett replied...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 8:44 am
I will. yay. thanks.
ethan_bane_hope said...
Feb. 2, 2012 at 10:16 pm
i have to say first. i loved how you started it out with "you take my breath away, not in a good way." that is attention grabbing in itself. i like how you make it twist with that second line of "not in a good way" it made me really start to analyze while i read and i could even relate. you described it perfectly. 5 star!
chloe_garrett replied...
Feb. 2, 2012 at 10:23 pm
Thank you. I really like how detailed you describe the things I did right with this poem. I love getting critiqued on my work.
EmmettLaFave said...
Feb. 2, 2012 at 9:54 pm
Very relate-able, very emotional. Well done.
chloe_garrett replied...
Feb. 2, 2012 at 9:55 pm
Thank you :D I really need more comments and ratings... lol.
-Ash- said...
Feb. 2, 2012 at 9:51 pm
sadly i can relate, but i really liked it! 5/5 :)
chloe_garrett replied...
Feb. 2, 2012 at 9:53 pm
Thanks :D yay i love when readers can relate.... although its bad that you can relate to this one and not any of the happier ones..
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