If only

July 5, 2008
By Vania Gutierrez, Crest Hill, IL

I think about you when I least expect it
I try to resist but I just can't help it.
In every twist and turn in my mind there's you
Half The time I wish you knew
That my heart beats to the syllables of your name
That if my heart were a candle I’d wish you were the flame
You are day and I am night- I'm always after you
I'd die if I have to
For you
If only you knew

If only you knew
What you do to me
I lose my self
And forget how to breathe
My heart beats fast forward
And I am forced to move inward
And pretend you’re not there
But it is useless ‘cause
You are like air

But I desperately try no to show
How I feel about you
Because if you were to know
That it is you I adore
My heart would not only beat to the sound of your name
But to the possibility that you won’t be my flame
And that is why I only half the time wish you knew

So I'm left with a heart aching doubt
Wandering to and about
Rummaging through the pros and cons
Of whether I should tell you or not
Wondering if you hurting me
Hurts less
Than the conflict I’d live in
If I never confessed.

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