not Over YOU.

December 20, 2011
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as i close my eyes.
i think of you.
colors dreadful.
so black so blue.
reminding me of everything we had.
the good times reminisce and all the bad.
as i close my eyes i saw blank.
the times 'we' missed and the times we've faced.
i never thought that "we" could break down to 'just us'.
it feels as though as a relationship, we have both given up.
as i close my eyes i wonder how.
how then, back then, could ever be now.
I'm sorry for you and and i feel sorrow for me.
i wish it didn't have to come to a time so blind, so pitch to see.
as i close my eyes and feel my heart.
more than half our relationship has been spent apart.
i didn't know that my stupidity would lead to here.
this is one thing i regret. and something I've always feared.
but that was then and this is now.
and i will never forget you.
or stop loving you.
i know that you've moved on to someone that is better for you.
and believe I've tried too.
in all of all. i can say this.
we both are rightfully wrong in this relationship.
i know that now that its not such a dating thing between us.
but a block that's keep reminding us of us.
i have no idea how you feel.
but me sitting here pouring myself out in poetry is real.
i know that you probably think this is all lies and defeat.
but please baby just listen to me speak.
just close your eyes and hear my heart.
because from the time that we've met my heart began to start.
start loving, start living, start feeling so happy, completely.
i felt so lost that i needed someone to complete me.
i ask that you understand and take a sec and hold my hand.
i know it might be hard to take me back.
but from the time you left i stayed strong and that's a fact.
i probably look desperate and dumb for writing this at all.
but when i was making all the mistakes i didn't notice my fall.
in life I've messed up but not like this.
i know that now my goal I've missed.
i thought that this whole time i was doing just fine.. till the end.
i messed up you messed up.
you lost me but i lost "I"
i know that my emotions have committed suicide.
dead.just.there.
waiting.. and waiting...
as i close my eyes i try to move forward simply alone.
i hear no one, i speak no words.
if and only if, you loved me like you said.
you would feel sort of how i do. you'd feel the feelings read.
if you don't, i cant control.
some one's feelings that aren't my own.
as i close my eyes i feel wore.
fell out of place pushed right along.
these feelings are a broken song.
on and on they go.
'round and 'round they spin.
i wish i could take back.
and finally forgive.
As I Close My Eyes I See Me.
Dying Of Happiness In A Room On Repeat.
A Room With Love And So Much Future.
A Future you're no longer in.
One Door Closed. Not To Regret
Not In My Surroundings So Far From Fetch.
IM NOT OVER YOU BUT PAST YOU.
I Think That If I Never Wrote This I Would Of Never Asked You.
Are you over me?..





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