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Take It for What I Can Throw at You
Take it for what I can throw at you.
My heart withering into a shadowy darkness.
Do you see me?
Do you even hear me?
I feel as if I'm standing in a room, full of people. Screaming for one of them to notice me, but none of them, none of them will even look my way.
Is this normal?
To feel so isolated.
To be ignored by those that are to be your ocatincess.
Not friends, no never friends.
Because that would be to much of a step.
Oh no not for me, but for them.
I try to make a point, and they roll their eyes.
I try to seem wise and I am.
In my eyes.
I try to understand the one that they know but truly don't.
I watch as they run past me, and not once do they look up to make sure that I did not fall down.
But I did, and I struggle to stand on my own.
Those feelings I had, remember the ones of me standing in a crowded room?
Well now I am, I'm screaming because the only one that ever noticed me is dead.
Bleeding on the hallow ground of the rubble, where our English class had once stood.
We told him do not fight.
We told him you will die.
Let someone else take the fame, but him bravery and his courage killed him.
And now here I stand, above my blue eyed knights’ body.
Screaming for someone to kill me as well.
Everyone looks up, even the ones that shunned me from this existing world.
I then I see it, the raging bullet hurdling towards me.
But instead of fearing it, I embraced it.
I felt it as it hit me square in the chest.
My breath caught, but it did not hurt.
I crumbled to the ground, my head upon my lovers’ chest. And soon, I felt the insane soul that once harbored with in me, float away.