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Insane

By
It feels forbidden
These writings of mine
My time to shine
This arsenal of rhymes
Is an illegal weapon of sacred value.

The letters dance together
To form words
Which tell a story
Of a good life, troubled youth
Emotions raining in horrid flurry

Afraid someone will see
Think I'm insane
I'm not insane
But it's okay.

I need to speak up
Speak out
Talk back and
Talk smack

I feel trapped
Smotherd and bothered
And suffocated
With my own words
My friend became my hated enemy.

What I trusted the most
To set me free
Betrayed me
Hurt me
Made the mold to make, shape and break me

I cannot bear to pick up
A pen and paper
I'm creating my own weapon
To seed my self-destruction

Afraid someone will see
Think I'm insane
I'm not sane
But it's okay.

Accept it. Face it.
Love it. Embrace it.

My words form a noose
Ties itself tight around my neck
Can't be too loose
But this is too soon

My words are the razor
That cut's the wrist of this time
Of mine
And wasted minutes flow.

My own creation
Will seal my fate
Of this fate,
Man I can't escape.

I'm not okay
It's not okay
Nothing will ever
Be okay

Until I transforn
My weapon of war
Into a mission of peace
Accept it
This is my outlet

My words will change into a sword
To fight pointless wars
Better the world
Stand for a cause
And help myself
To help yourself
To help himself
And herself

If spoken,
My words will be the rain
To quench the thirst of
A dusty dry world

To breathe new life
Into someone,
Something
Once lifeless

If spoken, they could
Color a black and white world
As my revolution unfurls
The boys and the girls
Of the world today
Will know new meanings of the words
"Hate"
"Love"
"Trust"
"Promise"

Hate and love are almost the same
In my world.
Trust cannot be earned or given without great reason
In my world
And promises were meant to be broken
In my world.

Read of the horrors I write
Or these horrors?

No, not really
They are uncensored
Unacceptable
Unstopable
Untouched by the filthy hand of man
Not tainted in the least

But wait!
These words I cannot speak!
Oh no
Now you know
And once again
I'm all alone

I sit and beg
Cry my pleas of
"Please help me!"
But my words fall on
A deaf God's
Deaf ears

Or he only hears
What he wants to hear
Just the good
And the bad is to be
Stomped out
And cured with useless medicine

You are like this "Deaf God", my dear
You choose only to hear
What you wish to believe,
The lies created by me
To hide a lethal truth.
A truth beyond what is believed
To be the truth
A truth that could
Rip out the very foundations of the
Feelings and opinions you had of someone
This someone is me

These feelings, things
You can't understand
Can't comprehend
You can't even begin
To imagine

The pain of holding this beast
Do you know how many nights I'll think and weep?
Then I begin
To reap
And sow a new garden
A garden of words
To describe these feelings
As my inner wall hardens

I'll pivk these words carefully, you see
So as not to disturb you
Or hurt you

This is not exactly for
Your well-being, my dear
But for my own

I don't want to
Back track to
The last track
To rapping my final track
Before your "cure" began

Just so you know,
My mind ain't right
Your medicines don't work and
It only makes me hurt

Afraid someone will see
Think I'm insane
I'm not sane
But it's okay.

...

...

It's okay.





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. said...
Aug. 27, 2010 at 7:26 am

this realllllly good.

i absolutely lovee it . (:

 
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