No Way

January 12, 2012
No pain to cry over-no tears to fall,
Their life is over but that's not all,
They're left alone and afraid
Only to regret the choices they've made.

No way to re-trace the paths of before,
No way to change not ending the war-
The war that raged inside their soul
Caused by something they'll never know,
Never settled completely because of a thing called death-
No way to ever take another breath.

Now they're left for all eternity
Only to regret not being the best they could be,
Alone with only their soul and feelings-
And not even privileged to have a heart beating;
Instead it's sorrow and pain without liberty
And tears bottled up that'll never fall free.





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readaholic This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 31, 2012 at 7:02 pm
This is just a great poem. Interesting idea, and you do a good job from that perspective. Awesome :)
 
scenesoccerqueen replied...
Jan. 31, 2012 at 7:14 pm
Thank you! It took a while to get the present tense to fit in with the fact this is the person of the past...but the perspective was kind of fun and interesting to write from.
 
Shmelmo said...
Jan. 31, 2012 at 6:45 pm
I really like your perspective on this poem. It is very cool. I think it will make people realize that they should live life to the fullest and not to have any regrets. Really nice job! Could you check out my poem - Once a Survivor, Forever a Fighter?
 
scenesoccerqueen replied...
Jan. 31, 2012 at 6:49 pm
Yes i believe you hit the nail right on the head with that one!:P and actually i have read that poem i believe i commented but ill check out some of you others for sure!
 
hotshot said...
Jan. 31, 2012 at 6:23 pm
well done :) the ideas and thoughts corsed through it very easily as it should. you set up the stage, you made the story come alive, and you turned every one person into a true character in your writting. i saw the different personalities and the different actions they could make. great job :) 5/5. but what i would do is not dwell on the past even if it hurts you, but use those feelings in your writting. and always remember that your not alone and that will make your writting even ore remarkable
 
scenesoccerqueen replied...
Jan. 31, 2012 at 6:35 pm
Thank you! And very constructive criticism i love it! Yea, I actually use to dwell on the past too much then i realized there's nothing to be done to it and there nothing that it can do to you other than haunt your memories but why let it? I wrote this poem at the time of when i was regretting alot but now when I read this I know i shouldn't regret and its people like you who remind me im not alone thank you!
 
hotshot replied...
Jan. 31, 2012 at 6:44 pm
your welcome :) and thank you
 
Choosing2Live4Christ said...
Jan. 31, 2012 at 11:30 am
I love your rhyming! it is very good :) 5/5 but you shouldn't look back and regret. you should look forward and make choices that you will be able to look back on and smile at. :)
 
scenesoccerqueen replied...
Jan. 31, 2012 at 6:10 pm
very true...although this isn't written from my view lol it's suppose to be the thoughts of a 'dead man' and although dead men can't think back like this poem insinuates it's suppose to show people to live there lives so one day they won't regret certain things.
 
Choosing2Live4Christ replied...
Jan. 31, 2012 at 6:14 pm
ohhhhh, have you ever heard the song, "Gone" by Switchfoot? I LOVE it! and it totally goes with what you just said.
 
scenesoccerqueen replied...
Jan. 31, 2012 at 6:43 pm
Yes i have I love that song! Its great...and yeah i kind of does!:)
 
gossimergrrl said...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 3:13 pm
Powerful. Good job.
 
scenesoccerqueen replied...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 5:08 pm
Thank you! appreciate you reading it and commenting:)
 
DavidBliss said...
Jan. 26, 2012 at 8:36 pm
Excellent Job
 
scenesoccerqueen replied...
Jan. 26, 2012 at 8:39 pm
Thank you!!
 
Lashonti said...
Jan. 26, 2012 at 8:18 pm
This is really good.! =). I loved the perspective you wrote from
 
scenesoccerqueen replied...
Jan. 28, 2012 at 7:40 pm
Thank you!
 
tealbird said...
Jan. 26, 2012 at 5:29 pm
That was supposed to say "read". I "read" your comment. Whoopsies.
 
tealbird said...
Jan. 26, 2012 at 5:27 pm
I read your poem was really moved. Then I moved your statement and was moved even more. I could just compliment you on the basics (ya know, rhythm, style, and whatnot) but the truth is that I don't think that would do it. Of course, it's awesome in these areas, but it's something so much more than that--way deeper than rhyme and meter. Great work.
 
scenesoccerqueen replied...
Jan. 26, 2012 at 8:11 pm
Wow you have no idea how much you just encouraged me! That really means alot! thank you!
 
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