I didn’t stop to think about my word choice.
When I felt that intense heat,
burning inside me,
seeping from my very being,
until all of the sudden I began seeing,
nothing but passion,
fiery and red.
Erupting from my inhibitions,
the feelings I have kept
bottled up, closed tight,
deep inside my very soul,
until for a brief tainted moment
I can’t seem to hold it back anymore,
and those horrible words slip out,

“I HATE YOU!”

Solemn I stand
quiet, yet relieved.
Who knows if those feelings
all belonged to you,
but I said those hurtful words.
My mind replays it,
over and over,
and I begin to wish I could take them back,
that I had thought before I spoke.
I glance up to see the pain in your eyes,
and I am sure that you have been hurt.
I begin to move towards you,
on the verge of tears,
but you manage to stand strong
and motion for me not to come near.

A few hours later we make our peace,
after all a mother’s love knows no bounds.
Yet I can still sense the damage my words left,
and their burden lay heavy upon my chest.
I know not if things between you and I will ever be the same,
and the pain I feel is a result of my own shame.
It devours my conscious,
eating up my thoughts.
If only,
if only,
I had thought.