To the Jens, Tyras,
sixth, seventh, and eighth grade girls, those
who don’t fear the Middle Part, that
awkward strip of scalp that only
90s sitcom stars can pull off.

Some try to hide it with
side bangs
straight across bangs
bows
hats
headbands
but not you,
you bask in the glory that is the
Middle Part.

But then there are the boys who
attempt the Middle Part, who
look awkward no matter
what stage of puberty they’re in,
I hope you continue to
live in blissful ignorance.

And a special note to Kim Kardashian:
you rock the Middle Part like no one else can,
you look good even when you look bad, and
even though your marriages may come and go, I hope
your Middle Part lasts forever.