Last Letter to Father

March 18, 2008
By Sofia Vega, Germantown, MD

People tell me they’re sorry
After they ask the wrong question
They say don’t worry
After I give them a too common answer

I guess they’re sorry because I only have a mom
I guess they think I’m worried because I’m missing out, having no fun
Just because I have no father
But really it’s no bother

You write to me from time to time
Mom still insists I call you father, but have you even been there for me part-time?
You don’t even talk to me or call me anymore
That’s why in my mind, I don’t have a father anymore

So I tell people not to feel sorry
I tell them not to worry
Because really I’m fine
With or without you…I’ll go on with my life

A slash across father’s name at the beginning of every school year
Birthday presents seizing to appear
A couple father-daughter dances
And those curious glances
Won’t ruin my day
Because I know some day you’ll pay

I know it hurts not seeing me
It hurts you more than it hurt me
But it’s on you, you walked out
It was a mistake, no doubt
You left without saying your destination
Now you’re stuck with a life of frustration

And me? I’m scarred with a name that I never wished to have
One that makes kids point and laugh
They wonder why it’s different from my mother’s
But the same as my brother’s
It only takes one person to say it and I see your face
All I do is gaze
Then I see a tear go down your cheek
I know it makes you sad
Knowing what you could have had

You would have been proud
You could have seen me stand out in the crowd
To take that last bow
But you threw those chances away
And now all you do is pray
For what? My forgiveness?
Not this time, it’s much too late.

So before you decide to write back
Let me make something clear
I’ve removed you from my future and erased you from my past
You’ve already disappeared
This my last letter to…
I don’t know what to call you.

From: Sofia

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