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My Assassination

Life is a knife
Stuck in us all
The more we remove it
The farther we fall
Keep my hand on the handle
Just twist it a bit
Feel my lungs just tremble
Coughing Fit
My breath is a whisper
The pain is a scream
No one is listening
Don’t get what I mean
My legs were just shaking
I fall on my knees
All you people just stab me
A thousand bees
I plunge the knife deeper
Your raising the blade
Sunshine is fading
You welcome the shade
The blade swings
I dodge it, And fall
My death isn’t noticed
Uncared for by all



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HiddenAngelInTheDark said...
Feb. 4, 2012 at 8:59 am
Another master piece my friend :) great work and it's like those people betrayed you and stabbed you but you dodge the knife and let yourself go instead
 
Vivacious said...
Feb. 2, 2012 at 8:54 pm
What is your connection with bee metaphors? The peice is great but honey, maybe you could add in a whole lot more descriptive words if ur not only trying to rhyme. Also, don't say "just" so much. Really amazing work thp
 
Photographywonder said...
Jan. 20, 2012 at 11:00 pm
Im reading all your poems. This is great also! We should collaborate one day on a poem together :)
 
cookiestar said...
Jan. 19, 2012 at 6:58 am
I love this:). I love the way u express ur emotions. This is an amazing poem, and beautifully written. Good Job!
 
Catniss22 said...
Jan. 18, 2012 at 5:56 pm
I love this. it shows that people ignore things that go on around them. comparing life with death. Wonderful!
 
chloe_garrett said...
Jan. 18, 2012 at 8:54 am
i love this. love u rr.
 
poetidea_myworld_22 said...
Jan. 18, 2012 at 6:46 am
loved it :)
 
Jadafunk said...
Jan. 17, 2012 at 6:04 am
i really like it and the comparison you made!
 
Silver2blackThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 17, 2012 at 5:44 am
Wow, I love it my fave, I like the rhyme, flow,emotions and the feelings...5/5 !
 
XxTickleM3EmoxX This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 15, 2012 at 4:31 pm
... AMAZING! please keep writing... its now one of my favorites! :D
 
Sarah Y. said...
Jan. 14, 2012 at 6:37 pm
Written with such emotion! It sounded as if it was written by Robert Frost himself, it just flowed so smoothly. I give it a six out of five :P.
 
pixxieloveThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 14, 2012 at 10:39 am
i like it... good flow 5/5
 
Frankietxter said...
Jan. 12, 2012 at 6:53 pm
I love it. this is amazing and very deep in emotion.
 
Fizza_98 said...
Jan. 11, 2012 at 6:37 am
very good poem. I love the way u put the emotions in it. 5/5 stars. :)
 
hotshotThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 10, 2012 at 9:24 pm
this was very deep emotion for a poem to be made from. and all i got to say is you bought it, owned it, and sold it. terriffic
 
alligator6 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 10, 2012 at 9:14 pm
this poem is wonderful. i love the word choice. nice job!
 
browneyez16 said...
Jan. 10, 2012 at 7:31 pm
Wonderful rhyme scheme. I'm forever stressed so I really get this poem.
 
scenesoccerqueen replied...
Jan. 10, 2012 at 7:49 pm
I feel like i can so relate..painfullly beautiful!
 
recurring_resilience said...
Jan. 10, 2012 at 7:25 pm
It's funny how you say that about the forced part! When I was writing i was just trying to make it flow right; not rhyme! Anyway I hope you ditch the stress soon! :D
 
Acastillo said...
Jan. 10, 2012 at 7:18 pm
Wow I really liked it, I'm under tons of stress right now so I can relate in a way. I liked that the rhymes didnt sound forced, nice job! :)
 
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