I'm Stuck

April 16, 2008
By Shelby Kennedy, Duncannon, PA

i'm stuck inside a hole i cannot climb out of
for i will never be her and she will never be i
and since forgetting you is a horribly depressing option
i sit in my hole and think, and think, and think.
free me from my thoughts, i wish you could
you've placed them in my mind, you know
left nowhere else to go but infinate circles
in my mind in this hole of which i'm trapped

the bottom is slipping, i've haven't got anywhere to go but down
further into my despised yet familiar hole
making the slight hope of escaping diminish even more quickly.
my thoughts travel downward as i fall
crashing onto my restless head
sleep doesn't come for minutes upon hours
but i mind not because my dreams are just as solemn as being awake

the image of you fills my every thought, idea, dream
your voice continuously reiterating in all three
as if you yourself were a scratched CD
and i have no toothpaste to wash my mind clean of the scratch.
and in my horrible sweet thoughts of you
i sometimes gain a smile or laugh
for you are beautiful, even in my mind in this hole
and your image brightens the darkness consuming me

the hole is growing longer and slightly more tight
i can no longer move around on my own free will
but the closeness of the walls is like the closeness of your love
and its comforting in its ironic and unlikely way.
i embrace that walls as if they were you
although you're everywhere here but nowhere to be found
inside this hole of which my mind and self is trapped

i think i've finally reached the bottom of my hole and i look up to see
that at the very distant top you look down upon me
and i find amusement in how confused you must be by my hole
and how impossibly stuck i am in it,
for you could reach down and touch me yet touching you i can't.
i'll sit and watch you in my hole, confused in a blind glorious love
and pray for you to come in and join me,
or at least stay and wander up above

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