Monsters, or, A Day in the Life of an OCD Patient

January 4, 2012
By Kidlet PLATINUM, Morris, Oklahoma
Kidlet PLATINUM, Morris, Oklahoma
22 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
"No longer will they call you Desterted, or name your land Desolate. But you will be called Hephzibah, and your land Beulah; for the Lord will take delight in you, and your land will be married." -Isaiah 62:4


All the monsters in my head,
They call to me, their voices dead,
Telling me of things to come,
Pounding, beating like a drum.

They speak of life,
This thrumming throng,
Converse of strife,
Blur right and wrong.
Piper and fife,
They pull me along,
And though weakness is rife,
They make me strong.

The monsters, they dare to tread
Where none before have my heart led.
They speak, and it's a constant thrum,
The monsters make me feel so numb.

And yet I feel,
As never before,
That I may heal,
From this, my war.
For all their lies,
For all their spite,
For all their guise,
Of what is right,

My soul they will never win,
For I have the strength within,
To slay these monsters, and defeat
Their purpose, though it's quite a feat.

Of all the things
That I have feared,
These formless beings,
Toward my destruction geared,
I have most mocked,
And I've most hated.
Myself I've rocked
To sleep, breath bated.

Will tonight be the night,
When I lose my fight?
Will I silently give in,
Taint the dawn with sin?

When I awake,
What will I find?
Did their lies take?
Did I lose my mind?
I just won't sleep,
Won't close my eyes.
I'll sit and weep,
Till the sun does rise.

It's been long since they've kept me 'wake.
My fear is gone, no more I shake.
I don't know how I've beaten them,
All I know is I did win!

My heart is free,
My soul does soar,
I'm finally me,
They fight no more.
They are banished
From my sight,
And with hope brandished,
I've won my fight.


The author's comments:
"Intrusive thoughts are unwelcome involuntary thoughts, images, or unpleasant ideas that...are upsetting or distressing, and can be difficult to manage or eliminate. Most people experience these thoughts. When they are associated with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)...they may become paralyzing, anxiety-provoking, or persistent." (Wikipedia definition)

In the summer just before my eighth grade year, I found out my dad was dying. A few weeks before school started, I had my first intrusive thought, and began obsessive habbits I thought would control them(can't explain how that works). I went into the school year terrified. Eventually I sought help, and learned about what was happening to me, but I still sat up at night, terrified I'd do something to my family in my sleep(which I knew couldn't happen, but I wasn't exactly rational at the time). Anyway, my father began to get better, and a few years later I noticed that I was having less intrusive thoughts. They are now almost completely gone, something I thank God for with all my heart. Thanks for reading, just wanted to explain the poem. By the way, sorry about the weird way it's set up. This is my first rhyming poem. :)

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This article has 2 comments.


on Jan. 19 2012 at 9:10 am
Kidlet PLATINUM, Morris, Oklahoma
22 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
"No longer will they call you Desterted, or name your land Desolate. But you will be called Hephzibah, and your land Beulah; for the Lord will take delight in you, and your land will be married." -Isaiah 62:4

Thank you so much! It helps to hear that. :)

on Jan. 18 2012 at 5:57 pm
WritingLoverForever PLATINUM, Bowling Green, Ohio
32 articles 2 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's not about success; it's about significance.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

This is incredible. It holds a lot of emotion. This reminds me of my OCD as well. And i find it very settling to know there's someone who he can relate to my issues. You're a fantastic writer; keep it up. :)


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