The Reason I Sit Alone

April 11, 2008
By Emma Orton, Shoreline, WA

The reason I sit alone
is not for what I say;
I don't talk to anyone
And they all stay away.
I wish someone would care
but it's hopeful thinking
longing for something
that will never come.

Since I'm alone in my world
I have no one to blame for the loneliness
I have no one to blame but myself.
I'm not used to being isolated
I'm not used to feeling hated
I'm not used fading
instead of hating
just waiting.
But this empty land drives me mad
and soon I'm talking to myself
further driving myself into insanity
and more solitude.
I'm not chasing solitude! I just happen to be on the same path as it...
I've given myself up–so as to not be alone.
I've given everything up...making me alone.
And I'm starting to give up
on being anything else.
So as I fall down an everlasting spiral
I can't help but scream at the top of my lungs:
"Do I chase misery? Is this really my fault?"
I'm still screaming...
and I'm still waiting for SOMEONE to answer me.
wishing waiting screaming fading
...and no one wants to listen anymore.

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