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A Message to My Parents

Oh Dear.
Parents!
Oh, drear parents—
Dear!
Oh, dear parents,

You drag me into
All of this;
Your entire mess.

You:
Self-medicate.
No, not with drugs,
But with hate,
As I try to alleviate
With love.

Terrible experiences
Leave me
Alone.
A troubled mind,
And troubled soul
Are what you offer me.

No love;
Only occasional pretense
Of love
So family wouldn’t think you’ve forsaken me.

You’ve declared before:
You don’t love me,
You’ll send me away.

Constant threats:
To send to an orphanage
Or back to your motherland,
Because you made a mistake
And you couldn’t figure it out.

And I tried to help you two,
You just didn’t want my help—
Or any help at all.

You enjoy chains of never ending agony,
And you’ve passed that down the table.

You take it out on me;
You scream at me.
I can’t take you.
I scream back
The piercing truth,
But you don’t like to listen
To truth;
You don’t like to be wrong.
So then my silence screams,
And holds your breath.
Because,
My silence is right too.
And, because you are the only one screaming,
You sound like a fool.

Oh, but a fool you are.
For pronouncing
That I am stupid and should perish.
Well, although low you sounded,
I ignore those temporary words.

Of course,
Your excuse, your blame
Is nothing but each other.
Yet, it is much more;
It is everything,
Including yourselves.

You have tortured me well,
You left me
Suppressed,
Unsupported,
Frightened.
But I am creating a hole in the fence
And am about to escape
Then,
By the hour you yearn to return,
The hole will be sealed.
It will be indestructible,
Impenetrable.

Try to destroy my new existence,
And you shall be a ball bouncing back
Into the past.
Then,
Come back as
A kangaroo
And attempt to jump the fence.

Let me free.
Come cry when you’re ready.
I know one of you,
Already partly realized,
And well, yes,
Cried
And tried to come back.
That one couldn’t.
But the other one still has a chance.
However, your illness prevents you, one,
From absolutely grasping the mistake.

Listen to me next time.
Of course I’ll welcome you both back,
Because I’m crazy and I love you
Just because you’re my parents,
And because you’re ill,
And because I know you can be good—
And mind me,
You have been good,
And I love you because we’re just the same:
Insane.



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