I Forgive You

January 30, 2008
Putting my feelings on paper is easier than saying it to your face
How could you just let a man take your place?
I am empty and incomplete;
At nights I wonder how could this be.
I forgive you.
I hold on to the hurt I hold on to pain
How could my dad possibly be this man?
Promises, after all, they just turn into lies
Just watch the pain slowly drip down as she cries.
Drip drip drip I’m full of fears and tears as I cry, I must let go
No words to stop this constant, steady flow.
Nonstop tears flowing steady down my warm gentle face
I’m turning red I’m balling up, I start picturing a better place.
No, I can’t run I can’t hide, its just release therapy
I feel alone, how could anybody possibly care for me?
I forgive you.
Dad I remember you came and spent the day with me
And before I knew it you had to leave
“Daddy please daddy please don’t leave me”
I cried I prayed I shouted out
Lord please don’t let these words be comin out his mouth
He carried me to the door and walked away
As I feel to the floor I saw his face
I held his ankles and begin to plead
And then I heard a promise, that he would be back to see me
I cried and cried and my dad had to leave me
I pulled myself together and stood at the door
After hours I fell to my knees, I feel to the floor
That hurt dad, it hurt
Just broke my heart but “one day” I say just one day
I will have a family full of love, its just not today
We all will smile, all day, one day, or is it just a dream in play?
But I will forgive you, this day.
I grew up with just my mom, she played so many roles
Life comes with no instructions, you move on as life on goes
It flows and goes, it starts to grow old
The feeling I had nobody knows
I hope you could understand my life without this man
I forgive you dad, but only with a plan.
Hey dad I’m growing and steadily getting stronger
Pressing on everyday steadily getting older
Although at times I still needed something, I needed your shoulder
I’m done with this subject, I proceed to get over
This has happened before… Did you have a plan?
I’m glad you are still able to stand
Did you go on thinking you would become a better man
Oooooo I got it, I got it, here’s my plan
Here’s your place… Wanna be a man?
Can you set aside your thoughts and think it through
Just realize how much I love you
I grew up man, I needed you
I did it by myself, I lived through
I am stronger now because of it
Here are my shoes, take them, they’ll fit
My struggle got so hard I would be surprised if you could sit
Sit down man, even you couldn’t stand the pain
Sit down quick before it makes your feet lame
Just look at my childhood full of tears
You can still see the struggle I lived for years
At times it was so hard even she couldn’t hold back the tears
But after the years of fears and my endless tears
I can forgive you for my years.
I forgive you

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