The Cheese in my Bedroom

(To the tune of “The Cat’s in the Cradle”)

I saw some cheese in my room yesterday,
I don’t know how it came there to be displayed.
It was under my bed, near a plastic mermaid;
The smell was like a skunk that had just sprayed.
Something was growing on top of it, and as it matured,
I thought “This cheese really needs to go, yeah,
I know that this cheese needs to go.”

And the cheese in my room keeps on ripening,
I’m having a hard time respiring.
Why can’t this cheese just leave all by itself?
I will clear out this foul mess,
I have to clean it I confess.

This cheese has been here for seven days now;
It’s starting to resemble a green eyebrow.
Fully covered in fuzz, that seems here to stay,
Now my room’s the last place that I want to lay.
Stuff is still growing on it and it’s not slowing down;
I think “This cheese really needs to go, yeah,
I know this cheese needs to go.

And the cheese in my bedroom’s smelling nauseating,
All I want is for my room to be clean.
Why can’t this cheese just leave all by itself?
I will clear out this giant mess,
I know I have to I confess.

I think my mom smelled the cheese now that it’s day fifteen,
She came to the door and started questioning.
She asked, “What’s that smell? Did something rot?”
I said, “You must be crazy, or not feelin’ so hot.”
I don’t smell anything that you say that you do Mom.”
Glad she didn’t go off like a bomb.

And the smell in my bedroom hasn’t plateaued;
Can’t hide it much longer, or my mom will explode.
Why can’t this cheese just leave all by itself?
I must clear this monster mess out;
I truly have to clean it now.

I entered my bedroom wearing a gasmask;
Ready to deal with my cheesy mishap.
I lifted the bed skirt, just a little afraid,
But ready for the thing that I was going to raid.
As I dove under my bunk ready for World War Three,
I noticed it had disappeared;
It had completely disappeared.
And as I stood on my feet it occurred to me
Fido’s mouth was not so clean.
He ate the cheese that was so green.

And the cheese in my bedroom was there no more;
Neither was Fido, he’d been kicked out the door.
When he’ll get let back in I’m not quite sure;
But at least the cheese is gone, yeah.
That nasty cheese is gone.





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