Rewind

November 27, 2011
By Plain-Jane ELITE, Grandview, Missouri
Plain-Jane ELITE, Grandview, Missouri
108 articles 2 photos 76 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their Shepherd. He will guide them to springs of living water; and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes." Revelation 7:17


You can’t see through this fake smile.
That is my true intention.
It’s really gonna take awhile
To refocus my attention.
As of now, I both hate and love you.
You’re right, and so wrong.
You don’t understand what I’m going through,
Nor why it’ll take so long.
This fake love you’re talking about, just might apply.
I did love the way you used to look at me.
But there is more, for you I would die.
I had always loved you unselfishly.
No, I don’t regret the way we used to act,
Because I pray someday that we can rewind.
For now, I’m letting go, but please don’t dismiss the fact
That God has matched us together; you’re stuck in my mind.
So go your own way, forget who I’ve been.
Yes, I’m hurt and crushed and confused.
I’d rather you leave than lead me on again.
I can’t help but feel like I’ve been used.
I should know better than that, I know your heart,
But I’m led astray time after time.
I should have been guarded right from the start,
But to shut you out felt like a crime.
You held out your hands and I fell into your arms.
Then with shock I felt you let go.
Blinded by your gaze and deceptive charms.
So why didn’t you let me know?
Keeping secrets only made the truth more painful.
How can you act like life is still good?
But it’s not about me, nor that you tore my soul.
My head’s high, still hiding my true mood.
My dependence on you needs to die out;
It’s evident you will no longer be there.
But there’s always some longing, and always some doubt,
And to give you up is too much to bear.
But you deserve better than I could ever become.
I’m half glad you decided to fly.
And take these words of wisdom but forget who they’re from:
Please don’t look back to watch me cry.


The author's comments:
Rejection and lonliness- the most awful combination.

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This article has 4 comments.


on Mar. 6 2012 at 7:33 pm
KateLynnLeigh BRONZE, Farmersburg, Indiana
3 articles 4 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The only way to get to the top is to get off your bottom."

I have felt like this before, but the poem seems slightly choppy. I still like it though.

on Dec. 10 2011 at 3:04 pm
Megpie94 SILVER, Cumberland, Maryland
6 articles 0 photos 13 comments
It's a really nice poem...I agree that it needs to flow a bit more but it's really nice because thats what goes through ones head at times...its very nice:)

on Dec. 10 2011 at 11:46 am
youngspeare BRONZE, Nairobi, Other
1 article 0 photos 273 comments

Favorite Quote:
We wouldn't ask a rose that grew from the concrete for having damaged petals; in turn we'd all celebrate its tenacity, we'd all love tz will to reach the sun well we are the roses n these are my damaged petals don't ask me why thank God and ask me how

K i think you should have started with somethign a lil more subtle like say start with the "you're right, and so long part".
Then, the line I had always loved you unselfishly ERASE!
and work on the rhymes!
Hope that wasn't too much honesty. Peace. 
Do check out my work and rate/comment? Will appreciate it.

on Dec. 9 2011 at 8:14 pm
Resonating_Words SILVER, Dallas, Texas
5 articles 10 photos 87 comments

Flow, flow, flow.

It needs help.

I like the message, and your diction is good and simple -- though occasionally forced and almost awkward for the sake of rhyming. However, this poem needs some rhythm and some flow help.

The lines are staggered in length and syllabels, and change randomly, which breaks up the reading of it. This severely takes away from the poem. 

If you could fix that, it would already be much better. It would even help your rhyming not sound too forced. 

 

Good, could be much better with some work in those areas. 3/5.



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