Teen Ink

Castrol said...
Nov. 6 at 10:59 am:

This is a really good poem. It seems you are reflecting one one's self. I like it. =]

 

LeilaniLives said...
Nov. 5 at 2:19 pm:

I'm making a wild throw out- maybe this piece is religious? And his Father is God himself ? Seems to me. Beatiful.

 

corruptedlullaby said...
Nov. 4 at 12:10 pm:

Wow. That was purely touching!

 

wow nice poem that was super cute i liked so much

 

BellaEzrebetFang said...
Nov. 2 at 4:13 pm:

Love this. This poem makes me wince though...it's sad and ambitious and determined and hopeful and uplifting until the end when you're brought down and held back with the 'chain' in the poem....

 

chetahgirl20 said...
Nov. 1 at 6:08 pm:

I would try to have realistic words, and capitalize "I". Nice poem.

 

DEARtiffanyy replied...
Nov. 1 at 10:52 pm :

I think that the "i" isn't capitalized on purpose. The writer puts himself on a lower rank than the Sea or Father, hence, they are capitalized.

 

Douglas C. said...
Nov. 1 at 3:03 pm:

Really cewl poem but...i dont really get it. Maybe i'm just stupid. but anyway, beautiful choice of words!!! :)

 

s.nichole said...
Nov. 1 at 2:37 pm:

touched my soul; you're amazing. :)

 

savina said...
Nov. 1 at 2:23 pm:

I love this poem, I just wanted to keep reading. Great work!

 

Shailja said...
Nov. 1 at 4:34 am:

a touchin piece of work....

 

DelkS said...
Nov. 1 at 3:31 am:

So real, its deep. I love it.

 

PurpleMidnight said...
Oct. 21 at 2:57 pm:

Wow! This is amazing! The last stanza is my favorite! Keep on writing. =P

 

monalisa011 said...
Oct. 8 at 7:25 pm:

This is really good... but the end is kind of depressing

 

Sammi L. said...
Sep. 18 at 12:14 pm:

Beautiful. I thought it was very expressive and good.

 

Minita said...
Jul. 22 at 1:40 pm:

I love how the poem flows into one piece.
that father sounds mean!

 

WHOAH Carl! this poem is so amaizing i really love the end it's so perfect although i just wanted the poem to keep going! haha well keep up the good work and keep writing you have an amaizing talent!

 

dahottgeek said...
Jul. 3 at 7:14 pm:

that was good, but the rhymes seamed awkward at times, such as "birdie"

 

Kinnery T. said...
Jun. 22 at 8:38 pm:

In general, I loved the poem. The rhyming was forced at times, though, especially at the part about the 'birdie'. The flow also got lost in some parts.

The themes, though, and the style too, were beautiful. You have a definite talent.

 

I must say, this poem you've composed, it is simply amazing. Not once have I heard something so beautiful and deep. The hidden meanings you could imply from such poem is infinite. Congratulations on writing what is (in my opinion) the most spectacular piece of poetry yet.

 

GuoXiang said...
May 29 at 10:53 pm:

Stunning!

 

erika E. said...
May 29 at 8:02 pm:

pretty :)

 

music said...
May 29 at 7:35 pm:

wow this is totlly good!!! it sounds like you have alout of experince of writing!!:)

 

lovehate29 said...
May 29 at 4:45 pm:

Wow! your poem was really good. Extraordinary! Outstanding! I really enjoyed the rhyme scheme used in this piece! Very good!

 

Anjo! said...
May 20 at 4:46 am:

THIS IS SO AWESOME!! WOW!! I got chills!!!

 

Jenigansta said...
May 10 at 5:08 pm:

Wow that poem was good and when I got to the end you left me hanging I wanted to read more

 

BeccaBlue826 said...
May 9 at 4:45 pm:

this is good...i can connect to it and that is what is so amazing....bravo(applause)

 

Jake S. said...
May 7 at 6:35 pm:

This poem is amzing!! this is my first time on the site, but after reading this peom I already love it!!:)

 

dude this poem was awesome. i loved it.

 

buggy said...
May 6 at 5:51 pm:

okay I love this poem. It is really visual and it reminds me of the way my step father tells me to do what I want with my life; like my guitar and claranet; but he never supports it. I have been playing for over five years and he has never once gone to my concerts. he wants me to be happy but doing what he approves of. It sounds like you have similar experinces in your life.

 

thedaydreamer13 said...
May 3 at 9:44 pm:

thats good!! you should write more!!! keep up the good work!!! :)

 

bookhugger14 said...
May 3 at 2:16 pm:

This poem is extremely well written and i love it! Keep on writing because this poem was really good. ♥♥♥

 

I give this poem an A for effort, because I can see that the writer is honestly trying to say something about himself, plus I realize the writer is still a kid. I advise editing of the meter (how many counts in each line), and I advise editing a few words such as "birdie" which cheapens the poem as soon as we see it. Lastly, I too must comment on the writer's use and non-se of capiltalization. When a writer chooses to write all words in lower case, that is fine. It is meaningless, perhaps art... (more »)

 

brooke.is.gone. said...
Apr. 19 at 4:14 pm:

i really love this poem. when you first read it, it's a little confusing but i think it's meant to make you think about it, and that's what i love about it. :)

 

Jessica B. said...
Apr. 16 at 7:03 am:

If you re-read this poem and pick out any superfluous words, such as "and" in the second line, you'll find that the poem sounds more focused. Also, are the lower-case i's intentional to illustrate that the son feels incompetent around his father? You capitalize the word father even though it is the second word, this adds an interesting texture to the poem. You also capitalize "The Sea" which sets the sea in the same...er--boat, (no pun intended) as the father. Which makes me believe th... (more »)

 

Joyce said...
Apr. 16 at 1:33 am:

It's pretty good although I didn't get the last part of it...it was a bit confusing.

 

good poem!

 

Mikal said...
Apr. 15 at 2:31 pm:

see my poems and songs:I need you to be in my life, Living my own life, The dancing club. I need ur comments! Peace out gangstas!!!!!

 

wow!! i love this poem! i think it has alot of meaning and heart that you put in this piece of writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Alexandra H. said...
Apr. 13 at 9:48 pm:

I kinda get a mixed message from this, but I really love it. The language you use and everything is just right.

 

fairy said...
Apr. 13 at 8:06 pm:

This is a GREAT poem. I love how it rhymes. The mood of it is very calm and serene. You got talent.

 

Jonel F. said...
Apr. 13 at 1:34 am:

Wow!!! This is a Great poem. I had just sign up and your poem is the first poem I've read and I Liked it even though it had a sad ending. GREAT JOB

 

Taylor W. said...
Apr. 12 at 5:20 pm:

Wow. That was amazing. The review above me says it reminds her of Emily Dickinson, and I have to agree, but not because of the beat but because of the subject matter. It's a really fantastic poem and you're a really fantastic writer.

 

megan G. said...
Apr. 11 at 11:10 pm:

wow that was great, kinda sad, too. u have great talent! keep writing!

 

gonzaleztd said...
Apr. 11 at 10:27 pm:

I love it... Reminds me of Ormond Beach, FL.

 

Mariah C. said...
Apr. 11 at 3:36 pm:

i LOVE this, you did really good on it :], high five lol. and i can relate to it very well. you were very creative :].

 

Darcey W. said...
Apr. 10 at 2:02 am:

I love your creative mind. (:

 

I really liked this:)
I agree with the others I didn't expect the ending.
I love this.

 

Ben A. said...
Mar. 28 at 8:21 pm:

Just Wanna Say:

This is an amazing piece, the best I've seen on here so far.

xx

 

Emo_Ninji said...
Mar. 25 at 5:16 pm:

It's an odd poem but it kept the readers attention. Very different perspective to look at things. And it's very odd to see the relationship with a father described this way, i wouldn't know so that is very insightful.