Teen Ink

Home > All Poetry > Daddy's Womb

Report abuse

Submit my work

Share/bookmark

Tag as favorite

Daddy's Womb

Next article »
« Prev article

Rate this article:

By Carl H., Staten Island, NY

Photo credit: Matthew S., Sharon, MA

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This piece has also been published in Teen Ink's monthly print magazine.

Join the Discussion

This article has 272 comments. Post your own!

Report abuse

lindsey said...
Nov. 20 at 1:58 pm:

i like this poem. you should write some like this one!!

Report abuse

princessa101 said...
Nov. 18 at 6:03 pm:

This is an awesome poem. It is so great. It is great it should be published. Wow coooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.

Report abuse

emily.a said...
Nov. 18 at 3:32 am:

a really nice poem with a deep meaning

Report abuse

epcelia said...
Nov. 17 at 11:47 pm:

when i read this i was like can this poem be real? haha its sooo good.

Report abuse

Ms.me_2 said...
Nov. 16 at 4:32 pm:

Omg this was deep

Report abuse

chrisbriones said...
Nov. 15 at 9:48 pm:

no! never believe such things! dont you ever allow yourself to see such an intangible chain which bounds you!
cherish your father. cherish everything he's done....before you regret it like i

Report abuse

Lanae said...
Nov. 15 at 12:00 pm:

awesome poem =)

Report abuse

Nanna said...
Nov. 14 at 10:22 pm:

I really like this : ) Nice job!
If you could, please check out 'Waiting'
Thank you : )

Report abuse

albert312 said...
Nov. 14 at 7:23 pm:

cleverly fabricated:).

Report abuse

Kazy said...
Nov. 14 at 6:26 pm:

wow..
that was moving.!
It was very good.

Report abuse

bri_bo94 said...
Nov. 12 at 4:50 pm:

That is so sad. very good, keep writing

Report abuse

AndThisIsReal said...
Nov. 12 at 12:16 pm:

This is really good, no wonder it got so many comments. :D
Keep writing.

Report abuse

cheerchick90210 said...
Nov. 12 at 9:26 am:

awesome poem

Report abuse

ihunt said...
Nov. 11 at 1:25 pm:

you are very good poet. good job at writing it

Report abuse

Inevitable_Anxiety said...
Nov. 10 at 7:43 pm:

This poem was brilliant. I can tell you have a future in poetry, writing in general. I was pleased to read it

Report abuse

lunarbabe said...
Nov. 10 at 2:23 pm:

wow this is amazing. the visual you give is amazing. i love it

Report abuse

Barbra said...
Nov. 10 at 11:14 am:

I didn't really like the style, but I adored the emotion.
I don't think you are ever really bond to someone or something unless you let yourself be.

Report abuse

PoetOfNyx16 said...
Nov. 9 at 1:47 pm:

its amazing, this poem is very excellent. its deep and just all around wonderful.

Report abuse

lauren_b said...
Nov. 9 at 1:27 pm:

I liked this poem.. really good.. great job..

Report abuse

Breezy981 said...
Nov. 9 at 1:04 pm:

Wow this was very touching..you are a great writer..keep it up! if you have time could you read my poem "Guess i had it coming" please

Report abuse

ariwrites94 said...
Nov. 8 at 8:49 pm:

Wonderful job!!!! you are a talented writer and keep up the good work! if u have time please check out my poem called "Sensitive Am I" and rate and leave a comment. Thanks and keep writing!

Report abuse

Castrol said...
Nov. 6 at 10:59 am:

This is a really good poem. It seems you are reflecting one one's self. I like it. =]

Report abuse

LeilaniLives said...
Nov. 5 at 2:19 pm:

I'm making a wild throw out- maybe this piece is religious? And his Father is God himself ? Seems to me. Beatiful.

Report abuse

corruptedlullaby said...
Nov. 4 at 12:10 pm:

Wow. That was purely touching!

Report abuse

Dat Chocoholic Girl said...
Nov. 4 at 11:14 am:

wow nice poem that was super cute i liked so much

Report abuse

BellaEzrebetFang said...
Nov. 2 at 4:13 pm:

Love this. This poem makes me wince though...it's sad and ambitious and determined and hopeful and uplifting until the end when you're brought down and held back with the 'chain' in the poem....

Report abuse

chetahgirl20 said...
Nov. 1 at 6:08 pm:

I would try to have realistic words, and capitalize "I". Nice poem.

DEARtiffanyy replied...
Nov. 1 at 10:52 pm :

I think that the "i" isn't capitalized on purpose. The writer puts himself on a lower rank than the Sea or Father, hence, they are capitalized.

mutekid016 replied...
Nov. 20 at 3:31 pm :

I agree with DEARtiffanyy. She brings up a good point.

Report abuse

Douglas C. said...
Nov. 1 at 3:03 pm:

Really cewl poem but...i dont really get it. Maybe i'm just stupid. but anyway, beautiful choice of words!!! :)

Report abuse

s.nichole said...
Nov. 1 at 2:37 pm:

touched my soul; you're amazing. :)

Report abuse

savina said...
Nov. 1 at 2:23 pm:

I love this poem, I just wanted to keep reading. Great work!

Report abuse

Shailja said...
Nov. 1 at 4:34 am:

a touchin piece of work....

Report abuse

DelkS said...
Nov. 1 at 3:31 am:

So real, its deep. I love it.

Report abuse

PurpleMidnight said...
Oct. 21 at 2:57 pm:

Wow! This is amazing! The last stanza is my favorite! Keep on writing. =P

Report abuse

monalisa011 said...
Oct. 8 at 7:25 pm:

This is really good... but the end is kind of depressing

Report abuse

Sammi L. said...
Sep. 18 at 12:14 pm:

Beautiful. I thought it was very expressive and good.

Report abuse

Minita said...
Jul. 22 at 1:40 pm:

I love how the poem flows into one piece.
that father sounds mean!

Report abuse

wordluver said...
Jul. 16 at 6:19 pm:

WHOAH Carl! this poem is so amaizing i really love the end it's so perfect although i just wanted the poem to keep going! haha well keep up the good work and keep writing you have an amaizing talent!

Report abuse

dahottgeek said...
Jul. 3 at 7:14 pm:

that was good, but the rhymes seamed awkward at times, such as "birdie"

Report abuse

Kinnery T. said...
Jun. 22 at 8:38 pm:

In general, I loved the poem. The rhyming was forced at times, though, especially at the part about the 'birdie'. The flow also got lost in some parts.

The themes, though, and the style too, were beautiful. You have a definite talent.

Report abuse

Evangalene said...
Jun. 1 at 9:52 pm:

I must say, this poem you've composed, it is simply amazing. Not once have I heard something so beautiful and deep. The hidden meanings you could imply from such poem is infinite. Congratulations on writing what is (in my opinion) the most spectacular piece of poetry yet.

Report abuse