You said it would last forever, but yet, here I am. Every night sleeping with your jacket and crying myself to sleep. it kills me to know that I can't call you mine. You said you'd never hurt me, but yet, you let me cry? It's like you don't care..that I gave you my heart and trust. You know I don't give that away easily. Why did you do this? I hate that I can't stay mad at you because..I love you. Why is this so complicated? Why does it hurt so bad? Do you feel the same pain that I do? It shattered me..I know you don't want to hear this..but you broke my heart.Its weird how strong i seem, but when I'm alone..I die slowly and painfully. Why couldn't you let me kill myself? I feel like you choke me and just before I die, you revive me, and kiss me and say sorry. Why can't you just kill me? Just plunge the knife through my already shattered and broken heart. You hurt me so bad when you said goodbye. I miss you so much. I'm sorry I'm not good enough. I smile to hide my feelings. I laugh to hide my tears. I love to forget the hate. I cry to hide the hurt.I die when you say "I love you". I cry knowing I won't have you. I try to forget everything, but I can't forget the scars you've engraved into my heart. Forever is to long. So just kill me. Stab the knife through my stomach, and watch me bleed to death. and then, kiss me goodbye..for the last time..
November 1, 2011