March 23, 2008
The magnetic pull of my stomach
Creeping out of my body
Aching and pulsating
Reaching for something
That isn’t food.

It’s pulling towards the girl I told I loved
So many times
But broke her heart selfishly wishing
I could be someone I’m not.

The tossing and turning
Of me and the sheets in my bed
Rang out all night screaming.

I remembered how we met
Then I remembered how we left.

It was unpleasant.

I just wish I knew how I felt earlier
So that this didn’t happen when it did
So that this aching for you
Wouldn’t kill me when I try to sleep
Or when I write poems.

I can’t come running back
Not after such a performance
Of tears laughter and yelling
And especially heartbreak.

I would come back
But it wouldn’t be the same
I could never say I don’t love you.

Feelings for you whoosh into me
But I’m sorry I just want more.

I love you.

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