I had finally emerged,
Emerged from the depths of confusion that was our friendship.
Choking on your salty words,
Letting those words run off my body,
Droplets of detestation and beads of betrayal trickling to the ground,
A puddle of the past resting at my feet.
I was gasping for air, but I was alive.
I don’t know why I wandered back to that rock-strewn shoreline.
I don’t know why I slowly waded back into those murky waters.
I don’t know why I dove back into that ocean of uncertainty.
Immersing myself in your lies
Plummeting through the empty apologies I regret accepting.
Awarding you relief you don’t deserve to feel.
You wanted to fix our friendship, fix that hurt,
Fix that confusion.
I thought you could, I thought we could.
We can’t.
Our alliance was washed away by waves of distrust
A current of disloyalty capturing you.
And now that hurt is there forever.
That hurt that is us.
That hurt has sunk, sunk deep into the depths of me.
Unreachable, unattainable.
I miss my old friend, but she is dead.
She drowned,
Drowned herself in the sea that is her ego.
I was so naïve.
People can’t come back from the dead.
You won’t come back.