Me Back When

October 6, 2011
What is your life like? What do you want to change? Well I’m going to talk about my mom giving us up, my brother’s death, and how these events changed me.
When I was younger I lived with my dad but I went to my moms during one weekend, and the day my dad came to pick Rhiannon and I up, she wouldn’t let my dad take us, then my dad got mad. My mom called the cops and said he was trust passing. So he lost custody of us. That’s when I started living with my mom, that’s when we decided to move to Superior. After awhile something happened my mom put us in foster care. When I was in foster care. I thought about a lot of things but the number one thing I thought about was why did my mom put us in here, me and my sister talked about it. My sister told me it was because she couldn’t take care of us, but I thought worse. I believed that she didn’t want us anymore. I thought she hated me. The main reason why I though this was cause she only put Rhiannon and I in foster care and not my older brother John. Almost a week later my mom and my brother came to visit us. I hated the fact that my mom put us in foster care. When she visited I wouldn’t talk to her, but I was always happy to see my brother. He was very important to me the reason for this was that my mom drank a lot and my brother was always there for me being my parent but when John wasn’t there my sister Rhiannon took care of me. When my mom and brother stopped visiting I vowed to never speak to my mom again. I couldn’t get over the fact that she abandoned us, but I still thought about my brother all the time. I believed if I told myself that he will come back and get us. That maybe he would but the thing is that day never actually happened.
The next thing is my brother’s death. My sister and my dad knew he died, but they didn’t tell me until one day I was talking about him a lot and they told me he died. I was so upset I didn’t cry until I got home, but I made sure I cried when no one was looking, I didn’t like it when people see me cry. I started to believe that he died because of me saying I hated him the last time I saw him when he left I repeated that to myself that it was my fault I didn’t tell anyone about me blaming myself but I knew deep down inside John loves me and he wouldn’t want me to blame myself. I gradually stopped blaming myself for what happened to him. I know I will always love him and I could never forget about him. I did think it was my fault he died, but that incident changed me. more than ever I felt like I lost everything about me I got depressed but eventually I got happier. I know he loves me and I love him to no matter what happened to him I’m still upset he died, but I have to be happy for all the great things that I still have such as my Dad, Rhiannon, and my other family members that are there for me.
Last I should tell you is how these events changed me. My personality changed the most it went from being so sensitive to being mean and always standing up for my self. I was sensitive because my mom and brother left me and my sister in foster care plus my brother died. I probably wouldn’t have been sensitive if so much stuff didn’t happen to me when I was about eight or nine. I met my dad for the first time well it felt like the first time cause, I was taken away from him when I was about two I didn’t remember him at all I felt like crying when I met him but I held it in and showed him all my awesome toys such as my Polly pockets, Bratz dolls, Legos, and all my stuffed animals I got them from my foster mom Connie. After I turned about eleven or twelve I started to a very defensive, mean, and rude person. I think I started acting like that cause I got so use to getting treated like crap. When ever my dad went to work and my step mom watched us she would make us stay in our room we only got to come out to eat and use the bathroom. Cause of her I decided maybe if I was like her she would lay off and stop being mean, but she didn’t so I acted like that all the time but deep down inside I knew it was wrong, but for some odd reason I couldn’t stop. I got to use to acting like that. I thought if I was mean people would leave me alone and stop picking on me after awhile I decide to put a little bit of both in my personality. So my personality was a sweet all the time but if you are mean to me I was mean back.
My life changed when I was two I look at everything with a different perspective then I should have, but I learned something from what all happened to me. I learned that don’t give up on your self and keep moving forward.





Post a Comment

Be the first to comment on this article!

bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback