I Hear Your Lies

April 3, 2008
By Christi Johnson, Park City, UT

I hear your lies
Taking them in as more than they are
Believing that you are different
That all my friends are wrong
That they are just jealous of what we have

When you sing to me, my heart explodes,
Storing every single moment in my endless mind
Knowing that I will remember it forever
That you were the first boy I have ever loved
The only boy I still love

My body trembles when I see you from afar
Knowing that our lips will soon meet
My heart pounding outside my chest like a cheesy cartoon
Feeling so much for you, so much that I can’t hide it
I want you to wrap me up in your arms and make me yours

I put myself out there for you
I attempted to be myself, I attempted to impress you
All I want is for you to love me
For you to point at me and say, “Yup that’s my girl”
I want all my friends to be jealous because I have someone like you

I thought that I meant something to you
I thought that I actually mattered
Every kiss we shared, was it a lie
All those words you said to me
Were they never true?

Did you never care?
I was there for you every single night
The nights you would call me crying
The nights you called me after you had taken all those pills
Making me stay awake and worry

I would run to your house
No matter how cold or how far
I would always come to you
I had to protect the boy I love
I would hold you until the tears stopped

I would let you fall asleep and leave silently
Knowing that I had done my job and you would live for another day
I protected you with everything I had
I tried to make you smile, I tried to make you laugh
You would never listen

You don’t listen when I say I love you
You don’t listen when I tell you the hurt you’ve caused me
You don’t listen when I need to let all of this out
Why won’t you listen
Why won’t you believe me

What else do I have to do to prove my feelings
I’ve tried everything
What else can I do?
How can I show you?
Why won’t you just listen to me for once?

Stop lying and tell what you think
Don’t make me fall for all your lies
I’m ready and strong
I can take whatever you throw my way
Whatever you tell me
I can handle it.

I’m sick of your games
I’m tired of you messing with my head
I don’t want to be a nervous wreck anymore
I just want to smile

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