Sleepers

By
my heart is afraid
it pounds the walls of my insides
but it can’t get away
and neither can i
everyone around me
is scrambling for thrones
the war was not here
not before
it was always outside these doors
but now it is in furtive glances
exchanged in the pews
i cannot leave
the waves are overpowering
but i can’t go
vices slither like snakes around my shoulders
i am exposed
i believed i would not be tempted
beyond what i could bear
but this
this is agony
and yet so heartbreakingly imminent
my eyes fill as i watch
as i watch the hunt enter the church
none are ready for the end
not even here
while the sermon is light
and wisps up to the rafters like smoke
i do not smile in the lobby
it is not their place to judge
but they do it
and i am more like them than i know
my heart finally escapes and flees to the sky
i am with it but i am still here
a gaping hole in my chest
what is left in this place but calls
for martyrdom?
my mind whispers reconstruction
my heart speaks from above of recruitment
so many are asleep
and know nothing else
but some have been awake
and let slumber find them
and they will not open their eyes
oh, god, please, please deliver me
as i search desperately for allies
and we grasp our books in fear
do not let this slaughter reap us too
their words are ashes
but they hit like cannons
poison in their mouths
pulled effortlessly from ensuing decay
let me go to the storm
and fight for this place
i will run until i see the gates





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