Suicide Notes

February 17, 2008
By Derek DeDamos, Porterfield, WI

suicide notes take me in,
take me into my mind,
a mind of nothing,
a mind of anything u can think of,
takes me and holds me down,
as i think i have to stop it,
have to stop these thoughts,
thoughts of this,

A psycotic deathwish is running,
running through my veins,
running through life, my very soul,
gaining control, gaining everything but nothing,
gaining nothing cause thier is nothing to me,
as it grips me im screaming,
yelling, fighting, slipping into a rage,
feeling numb and lifeless,

Only few people can help,
can help me with this problem,
this cry for help, this emotionless scream,
how can he live like this, crazy say some,
just let go some scream at me, they say,
let go its not worth the fight, not worth the tears,
not worth the screaming and pain,
they say in a fearful way, in a way that is truly undescribable,
these people can not and will not help,

The ones that will help, that can help,
the ones that can say anything, anything that will make me feel whole,
they say, they scream, they yell to me,
saying, tell me wat is wrong, wat is bothering you, just say,
just let it out and let us help, you know im here, you know we are here,
here for you, just tell us, if u need us,call us,
that is wat they say,
i scream for help but they don't get it, they can't here it,
they can't see me dying, dying inside,
dying in front of them,

One person can see inside,
can see how i feel, how im dying,
but deny's me over and over again,
denys me for no reason, only they can see me,
can see the real me, can see wat i say,
only they can hear me, can hear my screaming,
my yelling, my cry for help, only they,
only they can light my dark and empty, emotionless self,
they are my shining light, my gaurdian angel,

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